Tag #Stylesofparenting

Parent

The Greatest Story You’ll Tell: Why Sharing Your Testimony Transforms Your Child’s Faith

by Jebichii Kimulwo

Did you know that children who are raised by authentic parents, the ones who preach water and drink water, not those who preach water while drinking wine, tend to navigate life with remarkable resilience? This isn’t just a saying; it’s a truth backed by psychology and, more importantly, by biblical principle.

Many of us grew up with a different model. We were taught that parents must be pillars of unshakable strength, never showing cracks, never admitting fault. The goal was to be respected, but the unintended consequence was often a relationship built on performance, not authenticity. I’ll never forget the moment I realized my parents were human. It was jarring. For a time, it shook my foundation and altered my ability to trust them fully because the image I had of them was shattered. I wasn’t let into the real story.

The truth is, our children learn far more from what we do and who we are than from what we say. They are master observers of our character. This is why at the Paidion Foundation, we want to encourage you to embrace a powerful, transformative practice: sharing your testimony with your children.

The Biblical Mandate for Storytelling

This idea isn’t a modern parenting hack; it’s a ancient command from God Himself. Scripture is filled with directives to pass on our stories of faith and failure to the next generation.

“We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done... so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” (Psalm 78:4, 6)

God’s design for discipleship, starting in the home, is built on narrative. He didn’t give Israel a list of cold facts; He gave them a story—a story of deliverance, rebellion, wilderness wandering, and promised redemption. Our family stories are microcosms of this grand narrative.

The Psychological Backing: Building Resilience Through Vulnerability

Parenting experts and psychologists echo this wisdom. Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, has found that embracing our imperfections and being courageous with our stories is the bedrock of true connection. When we share our struggles, we model that it’s okay to be imperfect. This does not diminish a child’s respect for us; it deepens it.

Sharing age-appropriate stories of our failures teaches crucial executive functions like problem-solving, emotional regulation, and perseverance. A child who hears how their parent failed a test, lost a job, or struggled to make friends—and then overcame it—internalizes a powerful message: "My mistakes do not define me. I can get back up. Struggle is a part of growth, not the end of it."

What Does This Look Like in Practice?

This isn’t about burdening your child with adult problems. It’s about curated, age-appropriate authenticity.

  1. Share Your Successes and Your Failures: Tell them about the championship you won, but also about the time you didn’t make the team. Tell them about landing your dream job, but also about the interviews that went poorly. This teaches them that life is a mixture of both, and our worth isn’t tied to our performance.
  2. Share Your Mistakes and Lessons: “When I was your age, I sometimes struggled to tell the truth, and it got me into a lot of trouble. Here’s what I learned about the importance of integrity…” This disarms the power of shame and makes you a safe person for them to confess to.
  3. Share Your Present Struggles: “You know, I’m feeling a bit anxious about a project at work right now. So, I’m going to pray about it and trust that God will give me peace. Would you pray for me too?” This shows them how to actively rely on God in real-time.
  4. Share Your Spiritual Journey: This is the heart of it.
  • The Highs: “I remember when I was praying desperately for Grandma’s health, and I felt God’s peace wash over me in the hospital room. It was the most comforted I’ve ever felt.”
  • The Lows: “There was also a time I prayed for a friend to be healed, and they weren’t. I was angry and confused at God for a long time. I had to learn that His ways are higher than mine, and He is good even when I don’t understand.”
  • The Faith Lost and Found: “I once went through a season where I felt far from God. I stopped reading my Bible. What brought me back was a friend who simply loved me and reminded me of God’s promises.”

We often operate from a place of fear, believing we must protect our children from every hurt. But the enemy uses fear to isolate and silence us. Scripture reminds us:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

When we parent from a place of faith—faith that God is in control, faith that our vulnerability will build strength, faith that our stories have power—we disarm the enemy’s tactics. Our children will encounter challenges. Life will not always be kind. But when they have a mental library of your stories—stories of overcoming, of relying on Jesus, of getting back up—they have a roadmap for their own struggles. Even better, they will see you as a guide and will one day come to you and say, “I’m going through something. How did you get through it?”

The Source of It All: Abiding in Christ

This level of authentic parenting doesn’t come from our own strength. It flows from our relationship with the Father.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

When we abide in Christ, the outflow of that relationship is grace, wisdom, and patience in our parenting. We learn to seek and listen for His voice, and He guides us into all truth—even truths about how and when to share our stories with our children.

The beautiful promise is that we don’t have to direct our own paths, or perfectly direct our children’s.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Since leaning into this truth, parenting has become a journey of grace, not anxiety. I know that God will give me the strength and wisdom I need for tomorrow’s challenges, so I can rest today. And you know what? The relationship with my child is richer, more honest, and more joyful for it.

Your story—the beautiful, messy, redeemed story that Jesus is writing with your life—is the greatest gift you can give your child. Start sharing it.

Children, Discipline, Parent

Rediscovering Joy in Parenting with God’s Help and Practical Tools

by Jebichii Kimulwo

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You've entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.

What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.

Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you're walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.

📌 Looking for more encouragement and practical parenting wisdom? Follow us for honest stories, biblical guidance, and grace for the journey.

Children, Parent

Different STYLES of ATTACHMENT

by admin

Different STYLES of ATTACHMENT 

By James Kagombe


file


Early childhood is extremely critical and forms a foundation and basis for many aspects of our adult life. One of the areas that early childhood experiences shape is how we relate with ourselves and others, This is largely influenced by the child's consistent primary caregiver and forms a lasting impression and pattern even later in life. 

The primary caregiver is not limited to the biological parents or mother but rather the one who is there consistently meeting the needs of the child. 


Children form an internal reference point largely informed by the interactions with their primary caregiver. This strongly guides future interactions and connections with others and especially in close and meaningful relationships. 

While there may be other contributing factors, our childhood experiences are strong predictors of our future styles of attachment. 



Attachment styles 


Our Attachment style or ability to connect with people can either be secure or insecure. It may also vary from one relationship to another I,e close friend, spouse, children, family. 


1. Secure attachment.


The caregiver who is consistent, responsive, and assuring to the child's needs, helps the child develop many positive traits like trust, confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, value, and assurance, feelings of acceptance.


The child is therefore able to go out and explore more knowing that they have a secure place that they can return to and can handle the distance or space from the caregiver because they are confident that they will return.

The child is able to grow up to be a wholesome secure individual and can easily develop trust which is a key pillar in close and meaningful relationships. 


They are also able to handle space and distance from their relationships and are able to express their relational needs positively and are more likely to seek help when in need and develop connections easily with others. 


2. Insecure attachment 


This happens when a child's primary caregiver is inconsistent, unpredictable, disengaged, anxious, unresponsive, unavailable, indifferent, rejecting, aggressive, abusive, or disapproves of the vulnerability of the child and their needs.

Insecure attachment can also be experienced when the child's primary caregiver dies or there is long-term separation maybe by divorce or imprisonment or long illness or maybe distance because of work. The caregiver might also be struggling with trauma in their own life, addiction, or even depression or mental health issues.

The child is insecurely attached and feels insecure and can't trust or rely on the caregiver. This can lead to extreme anxiety. When the child is left alone, they could suppress these feelings and act as if they are fine outwardly but inside they are constantly anxious.



Signs of insecure attachment 


Children with insecure attachment are highly irritable, negatively seek attention, act out in mood swings, have anger, and tantrums, are inconsolable when they cry or are sad, and reject and act aloof when the caregiver returns after a period of separation.


Such children may not feel confident to explore life, try new things or even express themselves especially their weakness or places of struggle and might not easily ask for help. They may easily develop unhealthily independence.



Insecure attachment implications in adulthood


As adults this insecure attachment style could present itself especially in close relationships mostly by how they express their relational needs, How they react in moments of normal or longer separation or in moments of conflict and distress and how they react after the moments of separation, when they are connected back to those close to them.


In adulthood, their relational expectations, beliefs, emotions and responses are informed by their earlier attachment style especially in times of distress. They struggle feeling loved and do not easily trust others. They might also develop extreme anxiety especially when alone or when confronting others especially when their relational needs are not met or when anxious of losing their relationship. 


They might also be moody, hyper-sensitive and easily hurt, They might also be clingy and come off as needy and employ negative attention seeking behaviour and may always be fault finding and overly critical. 


Others may avoid closeness and intimacy and act distant and unavailable. They can be fiercely independent and find it difficult communicating their relational needs and therefore suppress and create a facade that everything is okay and later act out in bursts of anger and dissociation and separation,


They might also be impulsive, manipulate, throw blame to others for their actions ,justify their actions and react aggressively to being corrected or even turn abusive and violent.



However all is not lost, we can unlearn our childhood attachment styles and learn new and healthier ways of interacting and connecting with others and how to better parent and care for our children


We seek help and support from others and develop our awareness, identity and, personality, Through this, we can learn better interpersonal skills, be more assertive and establish better ways to communicate our needs. It will also help us be more resilient and adaptable and able to cope with distress and explore life and multiple positive interactions as well as create life experiences and friendships


The most powerful tool for both the parent and child is the Word of God and a personal relationship with Him. 

We can trust in God in all things and at all times, He provides that safe place of unconditional love and acceptance in Christ Jesus and we can launch out from this safe place having been enabled to do and be all that He created us to be.

We should allow God's word to change and influence how we see ourselves and others, our perspectives, our thoughts, our behaviors, and our reactions towards ourselves, others, and life situations. We can know that we are soo loved in Christ and begin to love ourselves wholesomely and become secure and begin to interact, connect and love others.


REFLECTION: 


1. How can the different parental styles influence and affect the attachment styles and what would this look like in the child's adult relationships later in life?


2. Some of the thoughts of a person who has insecure attachment are; I am not understood, I am not loved, I am always rejected, I am always taken advantage of, people always hurt me, people are always unavailable, I don't measure up, I will never succeed, my needs are not being met, my partner is undependable, I am unworthy of love, I feel alone in the relationship


How does the word of God address these thoughts?