Did you know that children who are raised by authentic parents, the ones who preach water and drink water, not those who preach water while drinking wine, tend to navigate life with remarkable resilience? This isn’t just a saying; it’s a truth backed by psychology and, more importantly, by biblical principle.

Many of us grew up with a different model. We were taught that parents must be pillars of unshakable strength, never showing cracks, never admitting fault. The goal was to be respected, but the unintended consequence was often a relationship built on performance, not authenticity. I’ll never forget the moment I realized my parents were human. It was jarring. For a time, it shook my foundation and altered my ability to trust them fully because the image I had of them was shattered. I wasn’t let into the real story.

The truth is, our children learn far more from what we do and who we are than from what we say. They are master observers of our character. This is why at the Paidion Foundation, we want to encourage you to embrace a powerful, transformative practice: sharing your testimony with your children.

The Biblical Mandate for Storytelling

This idea isn’t a modern parenting hack; it’s a ancient command from God Himself. Scripture is filled with directives to pass on our stories of faith and failure to the next generation.

“We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done... so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” (Psalm 78:4, 6)

God’s design for discipleship, starting in the home, is built on narrative. He didn’t give Israel a list of cold facts; He gave them a story—a story of deliverance, rebellion, wilderness wandering, and promised redemption. Our family stories are microcosms of this grand narrative.

The Psychological Backing: Building Resilience Through Vulnerability

Parenting experts and psychologists echo this wisdom. Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, has found that embracing our imperfections and being courageous with our stories is the bedrock of true connection. When we share our struggles, we model that it’s okay to be imperfect. This does not diminish a child’s respect for us; it deepens it.

Sharing age-appropriate stories of our failures teaches crucial executive functions like problem-solving, emotional regulation, and perseverance. A child who hears how their parent failed a test, lost a job, or struggled to make friends—and then overcame it—internalizes a powerful message: "My mistakes do not define me. I can get back up. Struggle is a part of growth, not the end of it."

What Does This Look Like in Practice?

This isn’t about burdening your child with adult problems. It’s about curated, age-appropriate authenticity.

1. Share Your Successes and Your Failures: Tell them about the championship you won, but also about the time you didn’t make the team. Tell them about landing your dream job, but also about the interviews that went poorly. This teaches them that life is a mixture of both, and our worth isn’t tied to our performance.
2. Share Your Mistakes and Lessons: “When I was your age, I sometimes struggled to tell the truth, and it got me into a lot of trouble. Here’s what I learned about the importance of integrity…” This disarms the power of shame and makes you a safe person for them to confess to.
3. Share Your Present Struggles: “You know, I’m feeling a bit anxious about a project at work right now. So, I’m going to pray about it and trust that God will give me peace. Would you pray for me too?” This shows them how to actively rely on God in real-time.
4. Share Your Spiritual Journey: This is the heart of it.

• The Highs: “I remember when I was praying desperately for Grandma’s health, and I felt God’s peace wash over me in the hospital room. It was the most comforted I’ve ever felt.”

• The Lows: “There was also a time I prayed for a friend to be healed, and they weren’t. I was angry and confused at God for a long time. I had to learn that His ways are higher than mine, and He is good even when I don’t understand.”

• The Faith Lost and Found: “I once went through a season where I felt far from God. I stopped reading my Bible. What brought me back was a friend who simply loved me and reminded me of God’s promises.”

We often operate from a place of fear, believing we must protect our children from every hurt. But the enemy uses fear to isolate and silence us. Scripture reminds us:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

When we parent from a place of faith—faith that God is in control, faith that our vulnerability will build strength, faith that our stories have power—we disarm the enemy’s tactics. Our children will encounter challenges. Life will not always be kind. But when they have a mental library of your stories—stories of overcoming, of relying on Jesus, of getting back up—they have a roadmap for their own struggles. Even better, they will see you as a guide and will one day come to you and say, “I’m going through something. How did you get through it?”

The Source of It All: Abiding in Christ

This level of authentic parenting doesn’t come from our own strength. It flows from our relationship with the Father.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

When we abide in Christ, the outflow of that relationship is grace, wisdom, and patience in our parenting. We learn to seek and listen for His voice, and He guides us into all truth—even truths about how and when to share our stories with our children.

The beautiful promise is that we don’t have to direct our own paths, or perfectly direct our children’s.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Since leaning into this truth, parenting has become a journey of grace, not anxiety. I know that God will give me the strength and wisdom I need for tomorrow’s challenges, so I can rest today. And you know what? The relationship with my child is richer, more honest, and more joyful for it.

Your story—the beautiful, messy, redeemed story that Jesus is writing with your life—is the greatest gift you can give your child. Start sharing it.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." — Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

If you've ever spent time with children, you already know something powerful: children love stories. Their eyes light up, they lean in, their imaginations spark—and in those moments, deep truths are planted in their hearts.

That’s why storytelling is such a timeless and effective way to teach children about God.

Why Stories Stick

In traditional African communities, storytelling wasn’t just for fun—it was the main form of education. Children learned values, caution, and courage through tales of ogres who pretended to be men, only to reveal their true selves in the forest. These stories were rich with moral lessons, and children remembered them for life.

Why? Because stories trigger emotions, and emotions are the gateway to the subconscious mind. Here's what that means:

• Emotions create lasting imprints in the brain.
• When a child hears a story that makes them laugh, cry, or feel brave, that emotion helps the lesson stick.
• Over time, these emotional connections shape their belief systems—what they believe about God, themselves, and the world.
• And from those beliefs flow their actions and identity.

In short: stories shape the heart. And that’s exactly where God’s truths are meant to live.

Jesus Taught in Stories

Jesus, the Master Teacher, often used parables—simple, memorable stories that revealed deep truths about the Kingdom of God.

Some examples include:

• The Good Samaritan – Teaching compassion and mercy (Luke 10:25–37)
• The Prodigal Son – Revealing the Father’s love and forgiveness (Luke 15:11–32)
• The Lost Sheep – Showing the value of every person to God (Luke 15:1–7)
• The Wise and Foolish Builders – Teaching the importance of obeying God’s Word (Matthew 7:24–27)

These stories weren’t just sermons—they were experiences. Children (and adults!) could see themselves in the characters, feel the emotions, and carry the lessons with them.

What Kind of Stories Can You Tell?

There are so many wonderful stories you can share with the children in your life:

• Bible Stories – From Noah to Esther, David to Jesus, Scripture is filled with stories that teach faith, obedience, courage, and love.
• Missionary Stories – Real-life faith adventures from people like Corrie ten Boom, Jim Elliot, or Gladys Aylward show children how God uses ordinary people in extraordinary ways.
• Testimonies of Other Children – Hearing how kids just like them are trusting Jesus can make faith feel real and possible.
• Modern-Day Christian Stories – Share about faithful Christians you know or read about.
• Made-Up Stories with a Message – Create characters and situations that relate to what your child is going through—fear, selfishness, forgiveness—and show them how God can help.

Tips to Make Storytelling More Impactful

Here are a few tips to get started or take your storytelling to the next level:

1. Use Visuals

Children are often visual learners. Illustrations, picture cards, or even videos can make a story come alive. You can:

• Download Bible story visuals online
• Use AI tools to create custom illustrations
• Or purchase high-quality visuals from Paidion designed especially for children’s Bible lessons

2. Make It Relatable

Use names and scenarios they understand. For example, instead of "a boy in a faraway land," say "a boy named James who lived in a small town just like ours."

3. Target Their Needs

Is your child struggling with fear? Tell the story of David and Goliath.
Are they learning to share? The story of the little boy who gave Jesus his lunch can inspire generosity.
Customize your storytelling to speak directly to their heart.

4. Involve Them

Ask questions. Let them guess what happens next. Act it out together. Children learn more when they’re actively involved.

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A Call to Action

Whether you’re a parent, Sunday school teacher, or Bible club leader—don’t underestimate the power of a good story.

God wired children to learn this way. And He gave you the privilege of planting seeds of faith in their hearts.

You don’t need to be a professional storyteller. Just be willing. Be intentional. Choose stories that reveal God’s love, truth, and power—and watch how those stories begin to shape the hearts and minds of the next generation.

✨ Start today. Pick a story. Gather the kids. Let God speak through your voice. ✨

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Need help?
Paidion offers ready-to-use Bible visuals and resources to make your storytelling come alive. Browse our collection and begin sharing powerful faith-filled stories today.

Schools across Kenya have closed, and children are home for the holidays. If you're a parent, teacher, or guardian, this isn’t just a shift in schedule; it's an amazing opportunity.

As a parent myself, I now understand what many parents used to say: “The holidays are hard.” Why? Because the structure we relied on, school routines, quiet work hours, and predictable rhythms, is suddenly gone. The children are home full-time.

But here’s a question that’s been stirring in my heart:

What if this holiday isn’t a disruption but an invitation to be intentional?

God has been teaching me to approach every part of my life with purpose, including parenting and ministry. I believe this school holiday can be a time of planting seeds in our children that will shape their hearts, minds, and futures.

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Why Intentionality Matters

Children don’t thrive in chaos; they flourish in environments that are predictable, engaging, and nurturing. Without a plan, the weeks ahead may slide into endless screen time, unhealthy habits, and spiritual stagnation.

This is not just a parenting issue, it’s a discipleship issue.

“The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.”
— Proverbs 20:7

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Parents, This Is Your Call to Action

Here’s how to make the most of this holiday break:

1. Have a Content Plan

Don’t leave it to chance. Be deliberate about what your children are watching, reading, and listening to.

• Select wholesome books and faith-based videos.
  
• Use parental controls if needed.
  
• If your children are older, involve them in choosing content and discuss why some things are allowed and others aren’t.
  

📚 Tip: Create a “Holiday Watch & Read List” and stick it on the fridge. Include selected YouTube channels, devotionals, movies, and books.

2. Schedule Connection Time

Set aside time daily or weekly just to hang out. No lecturing. No correcting. Just laughter, games, walks, and storytelling. Research in psychology shows that secure parent-child relationships are built in these unstructured, relaxed moments.

As Peter Tan-Chi wisely says, “These are golden moments. When children feel safe and loved, they open up.”

• Play games
  
• Bake together
  
• Ask open-ended questions about their dreams or thoughts
  

3. Train Them in Responsibility

Teach your children to work. Assign chores and follow through.

A famous TED Talk by Julie Lythcott-Haims (former Stanford Dean) emphasized that doing chores is one of the best predictors of success in life. It builds responsibility, teamwork, and resilience.

• Teach them to cook simple meals
  
• Rotate cleaning tasks
  
• Make it fun and age-appropriate
  

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…”
— Ecclesiastes 9:10

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Sunday School Teachers, Rise to the Occasion

The school holiday doesn’t mean spiritual growth should pause. In fact, children are now available for extended discipleship.

Could you organize a Bible Club or a Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS) in your church or community?

These programs are not only fun—they are life-changing. Through songs, memory verses, crafts, and Bible lessons, children encounter God in a personal way.

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
— Matthew 19:14

At Paidion, we can help you plan, organize, and run a Bible Club or DVBS. We provide:

• Lesson plans
  
• Teaching materials
  
• Songs and memory verses
  
• Craft ideas
  

📩 Get in touch with us if you’d like help. You don’t need to do it alone.

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The Future Belongs to the Intentional

We are not just babysitting children; we are raising the next generation of leaders, pastors, thinkers, and godly men and women. The spiritual, emotional, and practical investments we make during these holiday weeks could shape their futures forever.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
— Proverbs 22:6

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✅ Parents:

This is the time to step up. Make a plan. Spend the time. Train with love.

✅ Teachers:

Don’t wait until Sunday. Use this holiday to disciple the children in your care deeply and creatively.

📝 Take Action Today:

• Draft a weekly holiday schedule for your children
  
• Pick 3–5 books or videos for their holiday learning
  
• Plan at least one family hangout every week
  
• Organize or join a Bible Club or DVBS
  

📩 Need help? Contact us at Paidion. We’re here to walk with you.

Let’s make this holiday count—for eternity.

Have you ever paused to consider this profound truth: your child sees themselves through your eyes before they ever see themselves through God’s?

What you believe about your child—consciously or unconsciously—shapes the way you treat them. And how you treat them tells them who they are.

From your tone of voice when you call their name, to the look in your eyes when they make a mistake, to the quiet assumptions you hold in your heart, you are speaking into their identity every single day.

Children are not just shaped by what we teach them. They are shaped by who we believe they are.

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Why Your View of Your Child Matters

1. The Mirror Effect: Psychology Meets Scripture

In child psychology, there's a well-known concept called the "mirroring process." From infancy, children internalize their identity based on how caregivers reflect their emotional states. If a child cries and a parent responds with care, the child learns: I matter. I am worthy of love. But if a parent regularly shows frustration, distance, or shame, the child may internalize: I am a problem. I am too much. I’m not enough.

In other words, your child is asking every day, “Who am I to you?”

And Scripture affirms this principle. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” This doesn’t only apply to how we think of ourselves—it extends to how we think about others, including our children. If you believe your child is difficult, selfish, or lazy, that belief will come through in your words, tone, and expectations. Over time, your child may begin to live into that role.

But if you see your child as God sees them—beloved, chosen, capable, uniquely gifted—you partner with heaven to build them up in truth.

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What If We've Gotten It Wrong?

The truth is, many of us carry distorted beliefs about children. Some of us were raised in homes where children were “seen but not heard.” Others grew up with harsh discipline, constant criticism, or conditional love. Some of us unknowingly carry cultural attitudes that see children as a burden or inconvenience instead of a blessing.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

The Kingdom of God invites us into redemption—not just for our children, but for us as parents. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to surrender your old ways of thinking and receive God’s heart.

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Here’s How to Raise Strong Children: A Step-by-Step Kingdom Approach

1. Pray and Ask God to Reveal Your Inner Beliefs

Ask God: “What do I really believe about my children?”
Do I see them as a gift or as a burden? Do I focus more on their weaknesses than their God-given strengths? Do I carry expectations rooted in fear instead of faith?

This inner work is crucial. Parenting is not just about behavior correction—it's about heart transformation, beginning with our own hearts.

Psalm 139:23–24 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart... see if there is any offensive way in me.”

2. Repent for Any Wrong Perceptions

When God reveals hidden attitudes or harsh judgments, don’t shame yourself. Repentance is not punishment—it’s realigning your vision and perceptions with God's. Say, “Lord, forgive me for seeing my child through the wrong lens. Help me see them as You do.”

Romans 12:2 – “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

When your mind is renewed, your parenting will be too.

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3. Ask God to Show You Who Your Child Really Is

You are raising a child made in the image of God, with a specific calling, personality, and purpose. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you insight into your child’s true identity—who they are in heaven's eyes, not just who they are today.

You might receive a word, a picture, a Scripture, or simply a deep knowing. Begin to speak that over them—even when they’re misbehaving. Especially when they’re struggling. Let your words call them forward.

“You are kind. You are brave. You are a truth-speaker. You’re full of compassion. You are a leader. You were made for joy.”

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart.”

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4. Ask God for a Scripture to Stand On

God’s Word is a foundation. When you’re raising children, emotions can run high. Tiredness, fear, or frustration can cloud your vision. That’s why you need a Scripture-based identity anchor for each child.

Examples:

• Isaiah 54:13 – “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
• Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
• Philippians 1:6 – “He who began a good work in [your child’s name] will carry it on to completion.”

Post these Scriptures where you’ll see them. Pray them. Declare them. Live by them.

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5. Pray in Agreement with God's Vision

Prayer isn’t just about asking—it’s about partnering. Begin to pray for your children in alignment with who God says they are. Not just for success or good behavior, but for wisdom, character, discernment, courage, and spiritual sensitivity.

Let your prayers shape their future.

“Lord, thank you for making [name] bold and wise. I pray You grow them in grace and truth. Let them be rooted in love and confident in their calling.”

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6. Correct with Dignity and Respect

Discipline is necessary—but it must flow from love, not anger. Correct your child in a way that upholds their dignity. Harshness breaks the spirit; kindness restores it.

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Discipline doesn’t mean demeaning. It means helping a child understand, grow, and make better choices next time. It means creating an environment of safety where mistakes are part of learning.

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7. Listen With Your Heart, Not Just Your Ears

To truly listen to a child is to honor their humanity. Even when their words are messy, slow, or emotional—listen for their heart.

When Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me,” (Matthew 19:14), He didn’t just tolerate them—He welcomed them. He took time for them.

When you listen to your child, you tell them: You matter. You are heard. You are safe here.

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8. See Them Becoming Who God Designed Them to Be

This may be the most important shift of all: Choose to see your child not just by their behavior, but by their God-given identity.

This requires spiritual vision. When your child is acting out, whining, or making poor choices, pause and remember: This is not the full story. My child is in process. God is at work. I choose to see who they are becoming.

Declare it over them. Write it down. Call it forth daily.

Romans 4:17 – “God... calls into being things that were not.”

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Closing Thoughts: You’re Not Just Parenting. You’re Prophecying.

You are not just managing schedules, meals, and school routines. You are prophesying over a generation. You are raising sons and daughters who will reflect Christ in the world. You are shaping identity—not just through correction, but through love, vision, and spiritual truth.

Don’t underestimate the power of how you see your children. Because when you see them rightly, they will learn to see themselves rightly too.

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👣 Reflection Prompts for Parents:

1. What beliefs do I need to unlearn about children or parenting?
2. Have I been seeing my child through God’s eyes or through my frustration?
3. What Scripture can I hold onto for each of my children?
4. Am I raising my children with dignity and respect?

Have you ever heard the saying, “More is caught than taught”? It couldn’t be more true when it comes to parenting. Our kids soak up our actions way more than our words—sometimes without us even realizing it.

Think about it… We can tell them all day long to be kind, honest, or prayerful, but if they don’t see those things in us, those words don’t stick. The truth is, our kids are little mirrors—reflecting back what they see at home.

Psychologists say that by the age of 7, a child’s core beliefs, habits, and behaviors are already taking shape. After that, friends, school, and the world around them start influencing them more. But in those early, precious years? We are their biggest teachers—even when we’re not trying to be.

The Real Generational "Curse" No One Talks About

We hear so much in church circles about generational curses—cycles of brokenness passed down through families. But sometimes, what we call a curse is really just copied behavior, hurt, or mindsets we inherited.

Sadly, even in strong Christian families, some kids struggle with faith because they notice a painful gap between what their parents say and how they actually live. Maybe you’ve seen it… kids who grow up in church but walk away, because they saw anger, pride, or hypocrisy behind closed doors.

Let’s be honest—our kids can spot the difference between real faith and empty words. And if they see us saying one thing and living another? It can make them wonder if Jesus really changes lives at all.

But here’s the good news: We don’t have to be perfect parents to raise faith-filled kids. We just have to be real.

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How to Model Christ-like Behavior (Even When You’re Struggling)

Here’s what it looks like to show your children the love and character of Jesus in your everyday, messy, beautiful life:

1. Let Your Kids See God Working in You

We’re all a work in progress—and that’s okay! The best thing your child can see is a parent who’s letting Jesus transform them day by day. Philippians 2:13 reminds us, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”

When you mess up (and you will), be honest. Age-appropriately, share your struggles. Say something like, “Mummy is working on being more patient. I prayed and asked Jesus to help me.” That teaches them humility, grace, and how to depend on God—not perfection.

2. Love Them Loudly and Consistently

One of the most powerful ways to reflect Christ to your kids is simple: love them deeply, unconditionally, and often. Hug them. Smile when they walk into the room. Tell them, “I love you,” every single day.

Did you know studies show that loving, emotionally connected homes help children grow in confidence, resilience, and faith? And 1 John 4:19 reminds us, “We love because He first loved us.”

Even when correcting behavior, remind them: “You’re deeply loved by me and by Jesus—even when you mess up.”

3. Explain the “Why” Behind Boundaries

It’s easy to fall into constant “don’t do that” lectures. But when we explain why certain behaviors hurt others—or hurt themselves—it makes a lasting impact.

Proverbs 22:6 encourages us, “Train up a child in the way they should go…” Training isn’t just scolding—it’s gentle, thoughtful teaching. Help them understand, not just obey.

4. Speak Life Over Them

Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Be the voice in your child’s life that builds them up—not tears them down.

Instead of saying, “You’re such a bad kid,” say, “That choice wasn’t okay, but I know you can do better—and I love you no matter what.” Praise good behavior, celebrate small wins, and constantly remind them how God sees them.

5. Ask the Holy Spirit for Help (Daily!)

Let’s be real—parenting can be overwhelming. But you’re not doing this alone. Jesus called the Holy Spirit our Helper for a reason (John 14:26).

I can’t count how many times I’ve whispered, “Holy Spirit, help me,” in the middle of a tough parenting moment—and He always shows up. Ask God daily to give you wisdom, patience, and creativity as you raise your kids. He cares about your family even more than you do.

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You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent—Just a Real One

At the end of the day, our kids don’t need flawless parents. They need parents who love Jesus, lean on His grace, and show them what real faith looks like—through both victories and struggles.

Remember, more is caught than taught. Let them catch you praying. Let them catch you loving. Let them catch you growing.

Because when your child sees Jesus alive in you, they’ll believe He can be real in their lives, too.

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 11:1

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Would you love a few simple tips or prayers to help you model faith to your kids? I’d be happy to share—just let me know in the comments or message us!

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You've entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.

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What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.

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Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you're walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.

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Every child is a divine creation, not an accident. Before they were conceived in their mother’s womb, God had already conceived them in His own heart. Scripture reminds us in Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV), “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you.” This truth is foundational: every child carries a God-given purpose and unique potential.

Sadly, many children grow up never fully discovering the treasures God placed within them. Why? Because the enemy of their souls begins his attack early. John 10:10 tells us that, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” Satan targets the hearts of children, seeking to distort their identity, wound their emotions, and derail their destiny before it even unfolds.

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Experiences

Psychologists have long confirmed that the roots of many adult struggles can be traced back to childhood. Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned child psychiatrist, has said,

“The brain of a child is shaped by experience. What we do in early childhood matters.”

According to the American Psychological Association, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)—such as abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence—can have lifelong consequences on mental and physical health.

In his research, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, found that early emotional wounds are stored in the body and shape our responses, relationships, and self-worth as adults. In other words, many dysfunctions begin with unhealed heart wounds in childhood.

This is why Proverbs 4:23 urges us,

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

As a parent, it is your sacred calling to guard the heart of your child with prayer, wisdom, and intentional action.

Practical Ways to Guard Your Child’s Heart

1. Start by Healing Yourself

Tiffany Buckner of Anointed by Fire Ministries says, “The spirit within you raises your child alongside you.” This means the unresolved pain, trauma, or dysfunction in a parent can seep into the life of a child.

Parents must allow God to heal their own hearts first so they can nurture their children from a place of wholeness.

2. Be Watchful of Their Environment

Be intentional about what your child watches, listens to, and reads. The media they consume shapes their beliefs and self-image. Likewise, be discerning about the people around them. Many children have been harmed by those their parents trusted. By staying alert, you can prevent early exposure to psychological harm.

3. Choose Schools and Communities Wisely

Where your child grows up matters. The story of Lot in Genesis 13 shows that the environment impacts destiny. Lot chose to settle near Sodom, a place that eventually corrupted his family. Likewise, the schools, churches, and neighborhoods we place our children in influence their values, worldview, and emotional safety.

4. Be Close Enough to Notice

Guarding a child's heart means being close enough to recognize changes in their behavior, emotions, or speech. Sudden mood swings, withdrawal, or anxiety can signal internal struggles. Addressing these signs early can prevent deep heart wounds from forming.

5. Feed Their Spirit with the Word of God

Choose a church community that spiritually nourishes your children. A strong Sunday school program can build their biblical foundation and help them know God for themselves.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us:

“These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

6. Teach Them Truth, Not Fear

Avoid manipulating your children with lies or fear-based threats. Speak the truth in love. Children flourish in homes where trust and honesty are the foundation.

Ephesians 4:15 says we are to speak the truth in love so that others may grow.

7. Equip, Don’t Overprotect

Guarding your child doesn’t mean shielding them from all pain. Disappointments and challenges are part of life. What matters is teaching them how to respond with faith, resilience, and wisdom.

Give them tools, like prayer, Scripture, and open communication, to navigate life’s trials.

8. Keep Learning

Parenting is not easy, and no one has all the answers. But there are countless resources, books, and teachings available to support you.

Investing in your own growth as a parent is one of the most powerful ways to serve your child.

Your Faithful Labor Is Not in Vain

Parenting in a broken world is tough. There will be days you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and inadequate. But know this: God sees every effort you make to guard your child's heart. One day, you will hear the words every parent longs for: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)

Your child may not remember every meal you cooked or every toy you bought, but they will remember how you made them feel safe, heard, and loved. That’s how you guard a heart. That’s how you raise a child who knows their worth and walks boldly in the purpose God has for them.

Are You Always Quick to Use the Cane?

I used to be quick to reach for the cane or even pinch my child whenever he wouldn’t listen. It felt instinctive, almost automatic. That’s how I was raised. Canning was the default form of correction in my home and at school. We were punished for disobedience, for being suspected of wrongdoing, and sometimes even when we had done nothing wrong. No explanations, no conversations, just pain.

Looking back, I now question whether this truly aligns with God’s heart. Is this what God meant when He said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”? I don’t believe so. The God I know is not quick to punish. He is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.

God's Model of Discipline: Grace Before Wrath

Throughout Scripture, we see a pattern in how God disciplines His children. Take the Israelites, for example. Before punishment ever came, God gave them His laws. He clearly laid out what was expected of them, and He explained both the blessings of obedience and the consequences of rebellion.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse—the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God… the curse if you disobey” (Deuteronomy 11:26–28).

Even when they turned away from Him, God didn’t rush to judgment. He sent judges, prophets, and messengers to call them back. He used vivid illustrations like Hosea, the prophet who married a prostitute, to demonstrate His relentless love and desire for reconciliation (Hosea 1–3).

Yes, God eventually allowed punishment, but only after many warnings. And even in discipline, He promised restoration:

“Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only in due measure” (Jeremiah 30:11).

What’s the Goal of Discipline?

The goal of parenting and discipline is not control. It’s relationship. It’s about building trust, love, and respect. We want our children to grow up knowing they are seen, heard, and deeply loved even when they make mistakes.

Being slow to anger, quick to listen, and always seeking restoration should be our parenting posture. Our homes should reflect the heart of the Father: full of truth, yes, but also full of grace.

Does this mean we shouldn’t discipline our children? Not at all. The Bible still says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24).

But there’s a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is rooted in love, correction, and guidance. Punishment, especially when impulsive or harsh, often stems from frustration or fear.

A More Thoughtful Approach to Discipline

Biblical discipline is never about punishment for punishment's sake. It's about guiding children in love, teaching them right from wrong, and shaping their character for life. Here are practical ways to discipline thoughtfully, rooted in God's model and supported by modern child development wisdom:

• Clearly State Rules and Expectations
  Just as God gave His people laws and instructions (Deuteronomy 6:6–7), children need to know what’s expected of them. Explain the “why” behind each rule in a calm and age-appropriate way.
  
  "Children do well if they can. When they can’t, we need to figure out what’s getting in their way so we can help." —Dr. Ross Greene, Clinical Psychologist
  
• Be Honest—Don't Use Fear or Lies
  Avoid scaring or manipulating children into obedience. Trust is foundational to your relationship.
  
  “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him...” (Ephesians 4:15)
  
• Explain Rewards and Consequences in Advance
  Lay out both the benefits of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. Keep your word once the consequences are communicated.
  
  “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
  
  
• Correct with Patience and Consistency
  Don’t discipline in anger. Consistency helps children understand that boundaries are not emotional reactions but loving guidance.
  
  “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8)
  “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” (Proverbs 29:17)
  
  
• Use Physical Discipline as a Last Resort and With Restraint
  If a spanking is necessary, keep it light and brief—never out of rage. Pastor Mukholwe advises, “Just one or two strokes are enough.”
  
  “He who loves [his child] is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24, NIV)
  
  Renowned psychologist Dr. Daniel Siegel notes:
  
  “When we discipline in anger or humiliation, we actually undermine the part of the brain that helps children regulate behavior.”
  
• Discipline Privately, Not Publicly
  Public punishment shames the child and damages their sense of self. Take them aside, ideally to their room, where emotions can be processed with dignity.
  
• Restore the Relationship
  After disciplining, reassure them of your love. Hug them. Remind them that discipline does not change your love or their identity.
  Pray together, asking God for forgiveness and help in moving forward, as Jon Courson encourages.
  
  “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:12)
  “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

In Conclusion: Discipline with the Heart of the Father

We are not called to parent from a place of fear or tradition, but from a place of love and grace. God’s example shows us that discipline and relationship go hand in hand. He doesn’t rush to punish, but He also doesn’t ignore disobedience. He teaches, warns, corrects, and always restores.

Let’s raise children who don’t just fear the rod, but who trust in our love. Children who understand right from wrong not because they fear pain, but because they value relationships, respect, and truth.

Let our homes reflect the heart of God—firm in truth, overflowing with grace.