Did you know that children who are raised by authentic parents, the ones who preach water and drink water, not those who preach water while drinking wine, tend to navigate life with remarkable resilience? This isn’t just a saying; it’s a truth backed by psychology and, more importantly, by biblical principle.

Many of us grew up with a different model. We were taught that parents must be pillars of unshakable strength, never showing cracks, never admitting fault. The goal was to be respected, but the unintended consequence was often a relationship built on performance, not authenticity. I’ll never forget the moment I realized my parents were human. It was jarring. For a time, it shook my foundation and altered my ability to trust them fully because the image I had of them was shattered. I wasn’t let into the real story.

The truth is, our children learn far more from what we do and who we are than from what we say. They are master observers of our character. This is why at the Paidion Foundation, we want to encourage you to embrace a powerful, transformative practice: sharing your testimony with your children.

The Biblical Mandate for Storytelling

This idea isn’t a modern parenting hack; it’s a ancient command from God Himself. Scripture is filled with directives to pass on our stories of faith and failure to the next generation.

“We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done... so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” (Psalm 78:4, 6)

God’s design for discipleship, starting in the home, is built on narrative. He didn’t give Israel a list of cold facts; He gave them a story—a story of deliverance, rebellion, wilderness wandering, and promised redemption. Our family stories are microcosms of this grand narrative.

The Psychological Backing: Building Resilience Through Vulnerability

Parenting experts and psychologists echo this wisdom. Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, has found that embracing our imperfections and being courageous with our stories is the bedrock of true connection. When we share our struggles, we model that it’s okay to be imperfect. This does not diminish a child’s respect for us; it deepens it.

Sharing age-appropriate stories of our failures teaches crucial executive functions like problem-solving, emotional regulation, and perseverance. A child who hears how their parent failed a test, lost a job, or struggled to make friends—and then overcame it—internalizes a powerful message: "My mistakes do not define me. I can get back up. Struggle is a part of growth, not the end of it."

What Does This Look Like in Practice?

This isn’t about burdening your child with adult problems. It’s about curated, age-appropriate authenticity.

1. Share Your Successes and Your Failures: Tell them about the championship you won, but also about the time you didn’t make the team. Tell them about landing your dream job, but also about the interviews that went poorly. This teaches them that life is a mixture of both, and our worth isn’t tied to our performance.
2. Share Your Mistakes and Lessons: “When I was your age, I sometimes struggled to tell the truth, and it got me into a lot of trouble. Here’s what I learned about the importance of integrity…” This disarms the power of shame and makes you a safe person for them to confess to.
3. Share Your Present Struggles: “You know, I’m feeling a bit anxious about a project at work right now. So, I’m going to pray about it and trust that God will give me peace. Would you pray for me too?” This shows them how to actively rely on God in real-time.
4. Share Your Spiritual Journey: This is the heart of it.

• The Highs: “I remember when I was praying desperately for Grandma’s health, and I felt God’s peace wash over me in the hospital room. It was the most comforted I’ve ever felt.”

• The Lows: “There was also a time I prayed for a friend to be healed, and they weren’t. I was angry and confused at God for a long time. I had to learn that His ways are higher than mine, and He is good even when I don’t understand.”

• The Faith Lost and Found: “I once went through a season where I felt far from God. I stopped reading my Bible. What brought me back was a friend who simply loved me and reminded me of God’s promises.”

We often operate from a place of fear, believing we must protect our children from every hurt. But the enemy uses fear to isolate and silence us. Scripture reminds us:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

When we parent from a place of faith—faith that God is in control, faith that our vulnerability will build strength, faith that our stories have power—we disarm the enemy’s tactics. Our children will encounter challenges. Life will not always be kind. But when they have a mental library of your stories—stories of overcoming, of relying on Jesus, of getting back up—they have a roadmap for their own struggles. Even better, they will see you as a guide and will one day come to you and say, “I’m going through something. How did you get through it?”

The Source of It All: Abiding in Christ

This level of authentic parenting doesn’t come from our own strength. It flows from our relationship with the Father.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

When we abide in Christ, the outflow of that relationship is grace, wisdom, and patience in our parenting. We learn to seek and listen for His voice, and He guides us into all truth—even truths about how and when to share our stories with our children.

The beautiful promise is that we don’t have to direct our own paths, or perfectly direct our children’s.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Since leaning into this truth, parenting has become a journey of grace, not anxiety. I know that God will give me the strength and wisdom I need for tomorrow’s challenges, so I can rest today. And you know what? The relationship with my child is richer, more honest, and more joyful for it.

Your story—the beautiful, messy, redeemed story that Jesus is writing with your life—is the greatest gift you can give your child. Start sharing it.

Have you ever paused to consider this profound truth: your child sees themselves through your eyes before they ever see themselves through God’s?

What you believe about your child—consciously or unconsciously—shapes the way you treat them. And how you treat them tells them who they are.

From your tone of voice when you call their name, to the look in your eyes when they make a mistake, to the quiet assumptions you hold in your heart, you are speaking into their identity every single day.

Children are not just shaped by what we teach them. They are shaped by who we believe they are.

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Why Your View of Your Child Matters

1. The Mirror Effect: Psychology Meets Scripture

In child psychology, there's a well-known concept called the "mirroring process." From infancy, children internalize their identity based on how caregivers reflect their emotional states. If a child cries and a parent responds with care, the child learns: I matter. I am worthy of love. But if a parent regularly shows frustration, distance, or shame, the child may internalize: I am a problem. I am too much. I’m not enough.

In other words, your child is asking every day, “Who am I to you?”

And Scripture affirms this principle. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” This doesn’t only apply to how we think of ourselves—it extends to how we think about others, including our children. If you believe your child is difficult, selfish, or lazy, that belief will come through in your words, tone, and expectations. Over time, your child may begin to live into that role.

But if you see your child as God sees them—beloved, chosen, capable, uniquely gifted—you partner with heaven to build them up in truth.

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What If We've Gotten It Wrong?

The truth is, many of us carry distorted beliefs about children. Some of us were raised in homes where children were “seen but not heard.” Others grew up with harsh discipline, constant criticism, or conditional love. Some of us unknowingly carry cultural attitudes that see children as a burden or inconvenience instead of a blessing.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

The Kingdom of God invites us into redemption—not just for our children, but for us as parents. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to surrender your old ways of thinking and receive God’s heart.

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Here’s How to Raise Strong Children: A Step-by-Step Kingdom Approach

1. Pray and Ask God to Reveal Your Inner Beliefs

Ask God: “What do I really believe about my children?”
Do I see them as a gift or as a burden? Do I focus more on their weaknesses than their God-given strengths? Do I carry expectations rooted in fear instead of faith?

This inner work is crucial. Parenting is not just about behavior correction—it's about heart transformation, beginning with our own hearts.

Psalm 139:23–24 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart... see if there is any offensive way in me.”

2. Repent for Any Wrong Perceptions

When God reveals hidden attitudes or harsh judgments, don’t shame yourself. Repentance is not punishment—it’s realigning your vision and perceptions with God's. Say, “Lord, forgive me for seeing my child through the wrong lens. Help me see them as You do.”

Romans 12:2 – “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

When your mind is renewed, your parenting will be too.

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3. Ask God to Show You Who Your Child Really Is

You are raising a child made in the image of God, with a specific calling, personality, and purpose. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you insight into your child’s true identity—who they are in heaven's eyes, not just who they are today.

You might receive a word, a picture, a Scripture, or simply a deep knowing. Begin to speak that over them—even when they’re misbehaving. Especially when they’re struggling. Let your words call them forward.

“You are kind. You are brave. You are a truth-speaker. You’re full of compassion. You are a leader. You were made for joy.”

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart.”

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4. Ask God for a Scripture to Stand On

God’s Word is a foundation. When you’re raising children, emotions can run high. Tiredness, fear, or frustration can cloud your vision. That’s why you need a Scripture-based identity anchor for each child.

Examples:

• Isaiah 54:13 – “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
• Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
• Philippians 1:6 – “He who began a good work in [your child’s name] will carry it on to completion.”

Post these Scriptures where you’ll see them. Pray them. Declare them. Live by them.

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5. Pray in Agreement with God's Vision

Prayer isn’t just about asking—it’s about partnering. Begin to pray for your children in alignment with who God says they are. Not just for success or good behavior, but for wisdom, character, discernment, courage, and spiritual sensitivity.

Let your prayers shape their future.

“Lord, thank you for making [name] bold and wise. I pray You grow them in grace and truth. Let them be rooted in love and confident in their calling.”

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6. Correct with Dignity and Respect

Discipline is necessary—but it must flow from love, not anger. Correct your child in a way that upholds their dignity. Harshness breaks the spirit; kindness restores it.

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Discipline doesn’t mean demeaning. It means helping a child understand, grow, and make better choices next time. It means creating an environment of safety where mistakes are part of learning.

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7. Listen With Your Heart, Not Just Your Ears

To truly listen to a child is to honor their humanity. Even when their words are messy, slow, or emotional—listen for their heart.

When Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me,” (Matthew 19:14), He didn’t just tolerate them—He welcomed them. He took time for them.

When you listen to your child, you tell them: You matter. You are heard. You are safe here.

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8. See Them Becoming Who God Designed Them to Be

This may be the most important shift of all: Choose to see your child not just by their behavior, but by their God-given identity.

This requires spiritual vision. When your child is acting out, whining, or making poor choices, pause and remember: This is not the full story. My child is in process. God is at work. I choose to see who they are becoming.

Declare it over them. Write it down. Call it forth daily.

Romans 4:17 – “God... calls into being things that were not.”

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Closing Thoughts: You’re Not Just Parenting. You’re Prophecying.

You are not just managing schedules, meals, and school routines. You are prophesying over a generation. You are raising sons and daughters who will reflect Christ in the world. You are shaping identity—not just through correction, but through love, vision, and spiritual truth.

Don’t underestimate the power of how you see your children. Because when you see them rightly, they will learn to see themselves rightly too.

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👣 Reflection Prompts for Parents:

1. What beliefs do I need to unlearn about children or parenting?
2. Have I been seeing my child through God’s eyes or through my frustration?
3. What Scripture can I hold onto for each of my children?
4. Am I raising my children with dignity and respect?

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You've entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.

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What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.

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Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you're walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.

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