Category Discipline

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You’ve entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.

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What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.

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Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you’re walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.

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📌 Looking for more encouragement and practical parenting wisdom? Follow us for honest stories, biblical guidance, and grace for the journey.

Are You Always Quick to Use the Cane?

I used to be quick to reach for the cane or even pinch my child whenever he wouldn’t listen. It felt instinctive, almost automatic. That’s how I was raised. Canning was the default form of correction in my home and at school. We were punished for disobedience, for being suspected of wrongdoing, and sometimes even when we had done nothing wrong. No explanations, no conversations, just pain.

Looking back, I now question whether this truly aligns with God’s heart. Is this what God meant when He said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”? I don’t believe so. The God I know is not quick to punish. He is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.

God’s Model of Discipline: Grace Before Wrath

Throughout Scripture, we see a pattern in how God disciplines His children. Take the Israelites, for example. Before punishment ever came, God gave them His laws. He clearly laid out what was expected of them, and He explained both the blessings of obedience and the consequences of rebellion.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse—the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God… the curse if you disobey” (Deuteronomy 11:26–28).

Even when they turned away from Him, God didn’t rush to judgment. He sent judges, prophets, and messengers to call them back. He used vivid illustrations like Hosea, the prophet who married a prostitute, to demonstrate His relentless love and desire for reconciliation (Hosea 1–3).

Yes, God eventually allowed punishment, but only after many warnings. And even in discipline, He promised restoration:

“Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only in due measure” (Jeremiah 30:11).

What’s the Goal of Discipline?

The goal of parenting and discipline is not control. It’s relationship. It’s about building trust, love, and respect. We want our children to grow up knowing they are seen, heard, and deeply loved even when they make mistakes.

Being slow to anger, quick to listen, and always seeking restoration should be our parenting posture. Our homes should reflect the heart of the Father: full of truth, yes, but also full of grace.

Does this mean we shouldn’t discipline our children? Not at all. The Bible still says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24).

But there’s a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is rooted in love, correction, and guidance. Punishment, especially when impulsive or harsh, often stems from frustration or fear.

A More Thoughtful Approach to Discipline

Biblical discipline is never about punishment for punishment’s sake. It’s about guiding children in love, teaching them right from wrong, and shaping their character for life. Here are practical ways to discipline thoughtfully, rooted in God’s model and supported by modern child development wisdom:

• Clearly State Rules and Expectations
  Just as God gave His people laws and instructions (Deuteronomy 6:6–7), children need to know what’s expected of them. Explain the “why” behind each rule in a calm and age-appropriate way.
  
  “Children do well if they can. When they can’t, we need to figure out what’s getting in their way so we can help.” —Dr. Ross Greene, Clinical Psychologist
  
• Be Honest—Don’t Use Fear or Lies
  Avoid scaring or manipulating children into obedience. Trust is foundational to your relationship.
  
  “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him…” (Ephesians 4:15)
  
• Explain Rewards and Consequences in Advance
  Lay out both the benefits of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. Keep your word once the consequences are communicated.
  
  “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
  
  
• Correct with Patience and Consistency
  Don’t discipline in anger. Consistency helps children understand that boundaries are not emotional reactions but loving guidance.
  
  “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8)
  “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” (Proverbs 29:17)
  
  
• Use Physical Discipline as a Last Resort and With Restraint
  If a spanking is necessary, keep it light and brief—never out of rage. Pastor Mukholwe advises, “Just one or two strokes are enough.”
  
  “He who loves [his child] is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24, NIV)
  
  Renowned psychologist Dr. Daniel Siegel notes:
  
  “When we discipline in anger or humiliation, we actually undermine the part of the brain that helps children regulate behavior.”
  
• Discipline Privately, Not Publicly
  Public punishment shames the child and damages their sense of self. Take them aside, ideally to their room, where emotions can be processed with dignity.
  
• Restore the Relationship
  After disciplining, reassure them of your love. Hug them. Remind them that discipline does not change your love or their identity.
  Pray together, asking God for forgiveness and help in moving forward, as Jon Courson encourages.
  
  “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:12)
  “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

In Conclusion: Discipline with the Heart of the Father

We are not called to parent from a place of fear or tradition, but from a place of love and grace. God’s example shows us that discipline and relationship go hand in hand. He doesn’t rush to punish, but He also doesn’t ignore disobedience. He teaches, warns, corrects, and always restores.

Let’s raise children who don’t just fear the rod, but who trust in our love. Children who understand right from wrong not because they fear pain, but because they value relationships, respect, and truth.

Let our homes reflect the heart of God—firm in truth, overflowing with grace.

One of the most common questions Christian parents ask is, “Can children truly give their life to Christ?” Many wonder whether kids can fully grasp the gospel and make a genuine commitment to follow Jesus.

The Bible says that it is the responsibility of every parent to teach God’s word to their children with the hope that they will give their lives to Christ. But can children truly understand spiritual truths and commit their lives to Him? This article explores biblical teachings and real-life experiences to show that they can.

Biblical Examples of Childlike Faith

The Bible highlights the significance of childlike faith and God’s love for children:

• Matthew 18:3 – Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This verse underscores the purity and sincerity of a child’s faith.
• 1 Samuel 3 – The story of young Samuel hearing God’s voice shows that children can have a deep spiritual connection with God.
• 2 Timothy 3:15 – Paul reminds Timothy that he had known the Scriptures since infancy, reinforcing that children can learn and embrace biblical truths early in life.

Beyond biblical accounts, history also provides real-life examples of well-known evangelists who committed their lives to Christ as children:

• Corrie ten Boom – Gave her life to Jesus at age 5 and later helped save Jewish lives during World War II, sharing the gospel worldwide.
• Ruth Bell Graham – Accepted Christ at the age of 5 and grew up to become a dedicated Christian author and speaker.
• Jonathan Edwards – A key figure in the Great Awakening, he reportedly committed his life to Christ at a very young age.
• Luis Palau – Accepted Christ at age 5 and became one of the most influential evangelists of his time, preaching to millions globally.

While children may not yet grasp the full depth of theological doctrines, the Holy Spirit plays a vital role in convicting them of sin and drawing them toward Jesus. John 16:8 affirms that the Holy Spirit “will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” It is ultimately God who works in a child’s heart, leading them to faith in Christ. Parents and caregivers should trust that the Holy Spirit is actively working in their child’s life, guiding them toward salvation.

Signs a Child is Ready to Follow Christ

Not every child will express interest in salvation at the same time, but here are some indicators that they may be spiritually ready:

1. Asking Questions About God and Salvation – When children show curiosity about sin, Jesus, or heaven, it may be a sign that God is working in their hearts.
2. Expressing Guilt Over Sin – If they recognize their mistakes and ask for forgiveness, they may be understanding the need for a Savior.
3. Desiring to Pray and Read the Bible – A growing interest in spiritual activities indicates a heart being drawn to God.
4. Making Personal Statements of Faith – If a child says, “I want Jesus to live in my heart” or “I want to follow Jesus,” it reflects their sincere desire.

How to Guide a Child’s Decision for Christ

Parents, teachers, and caregivers play a vital role in nurturing a child’s faith. Here are some ways to guide them:

1. Explain the Gospel in Simple Terms

Use easy-to-understand language to share these core truths:

• God loves us (John 3:16).
• Sin separates us from God (Romans 3:23).
• Jesus died for our sins and rose again (Romans 5:8).
• We must accept Jesus by faith (Romans 10:9-10).

2. Share Bible Stories and Real-Life Examples

Stories like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) or Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) help illustrate repentance and salvation in a way children can understand.

3. Lead Them in a Simple Prayer of Salvation

Encourage them to express their belief in Jesus through a prayer like this: “Dear Jesus, I know that I have sinned and need Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose again. Please come into my heart and be my Savior. Help me to follow You. Amen.”

4. Continue Nurturing Their Faith

After a child makes a commitment to Christ, discipleship is essential:

• Encourage Bible reading – Provide a child-friendly Bible. You can also use picture books and kid’s devotionals to teach younger children about Jesus. You can purchase a picture book or devotional from us. Get in touch if you need one.
• Teach them to pray – Help them develop a habit of talking to God.
• Model Christian living – Demonstrate faith through daily actions.

Conclusion

Children are fully capable of understanding and accepting Christ when guided with love and biblical truth. While every child’s spiritual journey is unique, parents and caregivers should provide encouragement, patience, and continuous discipleship. Trust in God’s work in their hearts, and celebrate the incredible moment when a child chooses to follow Jesus.