Raising Strong Children: How Your View of Your Child Shapes Their Identity and Strength

Have you ever paused to consider this profound truth: your child sees themselves through your eyes before they ever see themselves through God’s?

What you believe about your child—consciously or unconsciously—shapes the way you treat them. And how you treat them tells them who they are.

From your tone of voice when you call their name, to the look in your eyes when they make a mistake, to the quiet assumptions you hold in your heart, you are speaking into their identity every single day.

Children are not just shaped by what we teach them. They are shaped by who we believe they are.


Why Your View of Your Child Matters

1. The Mirror Effect: Psychology Meets Scripture

In child psychology, there's a well-known concept called the "mirroring process." From infancy, children internalize their identity based on how caregivers reflect their emotional states. If a child cries and a parent responds with care, the child learns: I matter. I am worthy of love. But if a parent regularly shows frustration, distance, or shame, the child may internalize: I am a problem. I am too much. I’m not enough.

In other words, your child is asking every day, “Who am I to you?”

And Scripture affirms this principle. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” This doesn’t only apply to how we think of ourselves—it extends to how we think about others, including our children. If you believe your child is difficult, selfish, or lazy, that belief will come through in your words, tone, and expectations. Over time, your child may begin to live into that role.

But if you see your child as God sees them—beloved, chosen, capable, uniquely gifted—you partner with heaven to build them up in truth.


What If We've Gotten It Wrong?

The truth is, many of us carry distorted beliefs about children. Some of us were raised in homes where children were “seen but not heard.” Others grew up with harsh discipline, constant criticism, or conditional love. Some of us unknowingly carry cultural attitudes that see children as a burden or inconvenience instead of a blessing.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

The Kingdom of God invites us into redemption—not just for our children, but for us as parents. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to surrender your old ways of thinking and receive God’s heart.


Here’s How to Raise Strong Children: A Step-by-Step Kingdom Approach

1. Pray and Ask God to Reveal Your Inner Beliefs

Ask God: “What do I really believe about my children?”
Do I see them as a gift or as a burden? Do I focus more on their weaknesses than their God-given strengths? Do I carry expectations rooted in fear instead of faith?

This inner work is crucial. Parenting is not just about behavior correction—it's about heart transformation, beginning with our own hearts.

Psalm 139:23–24 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart... see if there is any offensive way in me.”

2. Repent for Any Wrong Perceptions

When God reveals hidden attitudes or harsh judgments, don’t shame yourself. Repentance is not punishment—it’s realigning your vision and perceptions with God's. Say, “Lord, forgive me for seeing my child through the wrong lens. Help me see them as You do.”

Romans 12:2 – “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

When your mind is renewed, your parenting will be too.


3. Ask God to Show You Who Your Child Really Is

You are raising a child made in the image of God, with a specific calling, personality, and purpose. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you insight into your child’s true identity—who they are in heaven's eyes, not just who they are today.

You might receive a word, a picture, a Scripture, or simply a deep knowing. Begin to speak that over them—even when they’re misbehaving. Especially when they’re struggling. Let your words call them forward.

“You are kind. You are brave. You are a truth-speaker. You’re full of compassion. You are a leader. You were made for joy.”

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart.”


4. Ask God for a Scripture to Stand On

God’s Word is a foundation. When you’re raising children, emotions can run high. Tiredness, fear, or frustration can cloud your vision. That’s why you need a Scripture-based identity anchor for each child.

Examples:

  • Isaiah 54:13 – “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.”
  • Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
  • Philippians 1:6 – “He who began a good work in [your child’s name] will carry it on to completion.”

Post these Scriptures where you’ll see them. Pray them. Declare them. Live by them.


5. Pray in Agreement with God's Vision

Prayer isn’t just about asking—it’s about partnering. Begin to pray for your children in alignment with who God says they are. Not just for success or good behavior, but for wisdom, character, discernment, courage, and spiritual sensitivity.

Let your prayers shape their future.

“Lord, thank you for making [name] bold and wise. I pray You grow them in grace and truth. Let them be rooted in love and confident in their calling.”


6. Correct with Dignity and Respect

Discipline is necessary—but it must flow from love, not anger. Correct your child in a way that upholds their dignity. Harshness breaks the spirit; kindness restores it.

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Discipline doesn’t mean demeaning. It means helping a child understand, grow, and make better choices next time. It means creating an environment of safety where mistakes are part of learning.


7. Listen With Your Heart, Not Just Your Ears

To truly listen to a child is to honor their humanity. Even when their words are messy, slow, or emotional—listen for their heart.

When Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me,” (Matthew 19:14), He didn’t just tolerate them—He welcomed them. He took time for them.

When you listen to your child, you tell them: You matter. You are heard. You are safe here.


8. See Them Becoming Who God Designed Them to Be

This may be the most important shift of all: Choose to see your child not just by their behavior, but by their God-given identity.

This requires spiritual vision. When your child is acting out, whining, or making poor choices, pause and remember: This is not the full story. My child is in process. God is at work. I choose to see who they are becoming.

Declare it over them. Write it down. Call it forth daily.

Romans 4:17 – “God... calls into being things that were not.”


Closing Thoughts: You’re Not Just Parenting. You’re Prophecying.

You are not just managing schedules, meals, and school routines. You are prophesying over a generation. You are raising sons and daughters who will reflect Christ in the world. You are shaping identity—not just through correction, but through love, vision, and spiritual truth.

Don’t underestimate the power of how you see your children. Because when you see them rightly, they will learn to see themselves rightly too.


👣 Reflection Prompts for Parents:

  1. What beliefs do I need to unlearn about children or parenting?
  2. Have I been seeing my child through God’s eyes or through my frustration?
  3. What Scripture can I hold onto for each of my children?
  4. Am I raising my children with dignity and respect?

Want to Raise Kids Who Love Jesus? It Starts With What They See in You

Have you ever heard the saying, “More is caught than taught”? It couldn’t be more true when it comes to parenting. Our kids soak up our actions way more than our words—sometimes without us even realizing it.

Think about it… We can tell them all day long to be kind, honest, or prayerful, but if they don’t see those things in us, those words don’t stick. The truth is, our kids are little mirrors—reflecting back what they see at home.

Psychologists say that by the age of 7, a child’s core beliefs, habits, and behaviors are already taking shape. After that, friends, school, and the world around them start influencing them more. But in those early, precious years? We are their biggest teachers—even when we’re not trying to be.

The Real Generational "Curse" No One Talks About

We hear so much in church circles about generational curses—cycles of brokenness passed down through families. But sometimes, what we call a curse is really just copied behavior, hurt, or mindsets we inherited.

Sadly, even in strong Christian families, some kids struggle with faith because they notice a painful gap between what their parents say and how they actually live. Maybe you’ve seen it… kids who grow up in church but walk away, because they saw anger, pride, or hypocrisy behind closed doors.

Let’s be honest—our kids can spot the difference between real faith and empty words. And if they see us saying one thing and living another? It can make them wonder if Jesus really changes lives at all.

But here’s the good news: We don’t have to be perfect parents to raise faith-filled kids. We just have to be real.


How to Model Christ-like Behavior (Even When You’re Struggling)

Here’s what it looks like to show your children the love and character of Jesus in your everyday, messy, beautiful life:

1. Let Your Kids See God Working in You

We’re all a work in progress—and that’s okay! The best thing your child can see is a parent who’s letting Jesus transform them day by day. Philippians 2:13 reminds us, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”

When you mess up (and you will), be honest. Age-appropriately, share your struggles. Say something like, “Mummy is working on being more patient. I prayed and asked Jesus to help me.” That teaches them humility, grace, and how to depend on God—not perfection.

2. Love Them Loudly and Consistently

One of the most powerful ways to reflect Christ to your kids is simple: love them deeply, unconditionally, and often. Hug them. Smile when they walk into the room. Tell them, “I love you,” every single day.

Did you know studies show that loving, emotionally connected homes help children grow in confidence, resilience, and faith? And 1 John 4:19 reminds us, “We love because He first loved us.”

Even when correcting behavior, remind them: “You’re deeply loved by me and by Jesus—even when you mess up.”

3. Explain the “Why” Behind Boundaries

It’s easy to fall into constant “don’t do that” lectures. But when we explain why certain behaviors hurt others—or hurt themselves—it makes a lasting impact.

Proverbs 22:6 encourages us, “Train up a child in the way they should go…” Training isn’t just scolding—it’s gentle, thoughtful teaching. Help them understand, not just obey.

4. Speak Life Over Them

Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Be the voice in your child’s life that builds them up—not tears them down.

Instead of saying, “You’re such a bad kid,” say, “That choice wasn’t okay, but I know you can do better—and I love you no matter what.” Praise good behavior, celebrate small wins, and constantly remind them how God sees them.

5. Ask the Holy Spirit for Help (Daily!)

Let’s be real—parenting can be overwhelming. But you’re not doing this alone. Jesus called the Holy Spirit our Helper for a reason (John 14:26).

I can’t count how many times I’ve whispered, “Holy Spirit, help me,” in the middle of a tough parenting moment—and He always shows up. Ask God daily to give you wisdom, patience, and creativity as you raise your kids. He cares about your family even more than you do.


You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent—Just a Real One

At the end of the day, our kids don’t need flawless parents. They need parents who love Jesus, lean on His grace, and show them what real faith looks like—through both victories and struggles.

Remember, more is caught than taught. Let them catch you praying. Let them catch you loving. Let them catch you growing.

Because when your child sees Jesus alive in you, they’ll believe He can be real in their lives, too.

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 11:1


Would you love a few simple tips or prayers to help you model faith to your kids? I’d be happy to share—just let me know in the comments or message us!

Rediscovering Joy in Parenting with God’s Help and Practical Tools

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You've entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.


What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.


Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you're walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.


📌 Looking for more encouragement and practical parenting wisdom? Follow us for honest stories, biblical guidance, and grace for the journey.

Guarding the Heart of a Child: A Biblical and Psychological Guide for Parents

Every child is a divine creation, not an accident. Before they were conceived in their mother’s womb, God had already conceived them in His own heart. Scripture reminds us in Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV), “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you.” This truth is foundational: every child carries a God-given purpose and unique potential.

Sadly, many children grow up never fully discovering the treasures God placed within them. Why? Because the enemy of their souls begins his attack early. John 10:10 tells us that, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” Satan targets the hearts of children, seeking to distort their identity, wound their emotions, and derail their destiny before it even unfolds.

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Experiences

Psychologists have long confirmed that the roots of many adult struggles can be traced back to childhood. Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned child psychiatrist, has said,

“The brain of a child is shaped by experience. What we do in early childhood matters.”

According to the American Psychological Association, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)—such as abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence—can have lifelong consequences on mental and physical health.

In his research, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, found that early emotional wounds are stored in the body and shape our responses, relationships, and self-worth as adults. In other words, many dysfunctions begin with unhealed heart wounds in childhood.

This is why Proverbs 4:23 urges us,

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

As a parent, it is your sacred calling to guard the heart of your child with prayer, wisdom, and intentional action.

Practical Ways to Guard Your Child’s Heart

1. Start by Healing Yourself

Tiffany Buckner of Anointed by Fire Ministries says, “The spirit within you raises your child alongside you.” This means the unresolved pain, trauma, or dysfunction in a parent can seep into the life of a child.

Parents must allow God to heal their own hearts first so they can nurture their children from a place of wholeness.

2. Be Watchful of Their Environment

Be intentional about what your child watches, listens to, and reads. The media they consume shapes their beliefs and self-image. Likewise, be discerning about the people around them. Many children have been harmed by those their parents trusted. By staying alert, you can prevent early exposure to psychological harm.

3. Choose Schools and Communities Wisely

Where your child grows up matters. The story of Lot in Genesis 13 shows that the environment impacts destiny. Lot chose to settle near Sodom, a place that eventually corrupted his family. Likewise, the schools, churches, and neighborhoods we place our children in influence their values, worldview, and emotional safety.

4. Be Close Enough to Notice

Guarding a child's heart means being close enough to recognize changes in their behavior, emotions, or speech. Sudden mood swings, withdrawal, or anxiety can signal internal struggles. Addressing these signs early can prevent deep heart wounds from forming.

5. Feed Their Spirit with the Word of God

Choose a church community that spiritually nourishes your children. A strong Sunday school program can build their biblical foundation and help them know God for themselves.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us:

“These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

6. Teach Them Truth, Not Fear

Avoid manipulating your children with lies or fear-based threats. Speak the truth in love. Children flourish in homes where trust and honesty are the foundation.

Ephesians 4:15 says we are to speak the truth in love so that others may grow.

7. Equip, Don’t Overprotect

Guarding your child doesn’t mean shielding them from all pain. Disappointments and challenges are part of life. What matters is teaching them how to respond with faith, resilience, and wisdom.

Give them tools, like prayer, Scripture, and open communication, to navigate life’s trials.

8. Keep Learning

Parenting is not easy, and no one has all the answers. But there are countless resources, books, and teachings available to support you.

Investing in your own growth as a parent is one of the most powerful ways to serve your child.

Your Faithful Labor Is Not in Vain

Parenting in a broken world is tough. There will be days you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and inadequate. But know this: God sees every effort you make to guard your child's heart. One day, you will hear the words every parent longs for: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)

Your child may not remember every meal you cooked or every toy you bought, but they will remember how you made them feel safe, heard, and loved. That’s how you guard a heart. That’s how you raise a child who knows their worth and walks boldly in the purpose God has for them.

Rethinking the Rod: Discipline Rooted in Relationship

Are You Always Quick to Use the Cane?

I used to be quick to reach for the cane or even pinch my child whenever he wouldn’t listen. It felt instinctive, almost automatic. That’s how I was raised. Canning was the default form of correction in my home and at school. We were punished for disobedience, for being suspected of wrongdoing, and sometimes even when we had done nothing wrong. No explanations, no conversations, just pain.

Looking back, I now question whether this truly aligns with God’s heart. Is this what God meant when He said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”? I don’t believe so. The God I know is not quick to punish. He is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.

God's Model of Discipline: Grace Before Wrath

Throughout Scripture, we see a pattern in how God disciplines His children. Take the Israelites, for example. Before punishment ever came, God gave them His laws. He clearly laid out what was expected of them, and He explained both the blessings of obedience and the consequences of rebellion.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse—the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God… the curse if you disobey” (Deuteronomy 11:26–28).

Even when they turned away from Him, God didn’t rush to judgment. He sent judges, prophets, and messengers to call them back. He used vivid illustrations like Hosea, the prophet who married a prostitute, to demonstrate His relentless love and desire for reconciliation (Hosea 1–3).

Yes, God eventually allowed punishment, but only after many warnings. And even in discipline, He promised restoration:

“Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only in due measure” (Jeremiah 30:11).

What’s the Goal of Discipline?

The goal of parenting and discipline is not control. It’s relationship. It’s about building trust, love, and respect. We want our children to grow up knowing they are seen, heard, and deeply loved even when they make mistakes.

Being slow to anger, quick to listen, and always seeking restoration should be our parenting posture. Our homes should reflect the heart of the Father: full of truth, yes, but also full of grace.

Does this mean we shouldn’t discipline our children? Not at all. The Bible still says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24).

But there’s a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is rooted in love, correction, and guidance. Punishment, especially when impulsive or harsh, often stems from frustration or fear.

A More Thoughtful Approach to Discipline

Biblical discipline is never about punishment for punishment's sake. It's about guiding children in love, teaching them right from wrong, and shaping their character for life. Here are practical ways to discipline thoughtfully, rooted in God's model and supported by modern child development wisdom:

  • Clearly State Rules and Expectations
    Just as God gave His people laws and instructions (Deuteronomy 6:6–7), children need to know what’s expected of them. Explain the “why” behind each rule in a calm and age-appropriate way.

    "Children do well if they can. When they can’t, we need to figure out what’s getting in their way so we can help." —Dr. Ross Greene, Clinical Psychologist
  • Be Honest—Don't Use Fear or Lies
    Avoid scaring or manipulating children into obedience. Trust is foundational to your relationship.

    “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him...” (Ephesians 4:15)
  • Explain Rewards and Consequences in Advance
    Lay out both the benefits of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. Keep your word once the consequences are communicated.

    “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

  • Correct with Patience and Consistency
    Don’t discipline in anger. Consistency helps children understand that boundaries are not emotional reactions but loving guidance.

    “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8)
    “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” (Proverbs 29:17)

  • Use Physical Discipline as a Last Resort and With Restraint
    If a spanking is necessary, keep it light and brief—never out of rage. Pastor Mukholwe advises, “Just one or two strokes are enough.”

    “He who loves [his child] is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24, NIV)

    Renowned psychologist Dr. Daniel Siegel notes:

    “When we discipline in anger or humiliation, we actually undermine the part of the brain that helps children regulate behavior.”
  • Discipline Privately, Not Publicly
    Public punishment shames the child and damages their sense of self. Take them aside, ideally to their room, where emotions can be processed with dignity.
  • Restore the Relationship
    After disciplining, reassure them of your love. Hug them. Remind them that discipline does not change your love or their identity.
    Pray together, asking God for forgiveness and help in moving forward, as Jon Courson encourages.

    “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:12)
    “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

In Conclusion: Discipline with the Heart of the Father

We are not called to parent from a place of fear or tradition, but from a place of love and grace. God’s example shows us that discipline and relationship go hand in hand. He doesn’t rush to punish, but He also doesn’t ignore disobedience. He teaches, warns, corrects, and always restores.

Let’s raise children who don’t just fear the rod, but who trust in our love. Children who understand right from wrong not because they fear pain, but because they value relationships, respect, and truth.

Let our homes reflect the heart of God—firm in truth, overflowing with grace.

Can Children Give Their Lives to Christ? Understanding Faith in Young Hearts

One of the most common questions Christian parents ask is, "Can children truly give their life to Christ?" Many wonder whether kids can fully grasp the gospel and make a genuine commitment to follow Jesus.

The Bible says that it is the responsibility of every parent to teach God's word to their children with the hope that they will give their lives to Christ. But can children truly understand spiritual truths and commit their lives to Him? This article explores biblical teachings and real-life experiences to show that they can.

Biblical Examples of Childlike Faith

The Bible highlights the significance of childlike faith and God’s love for children:

  • Matthew 18:3 – Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This verse underscores the purity and sincerity of a child’s faith.
  • 1 Samuel 3 – The story of young Samuel hearing God’s voice shows that children can have a deep spiritual connection with God.
  • 2 Timothy 3:15 – Paul reminds Timothy that he had known the Scriptures since infancy, reinforcing that children can learn and embrace biblical truths early in life.

Beyond biblical accounts, history also provides real-life examples of well-known evangelists who committed their lives to Christ as children:

  • Corrie ten Boom – Gave her life to Jesus at age 5 and later helped save Jewish lives during World War II, sharing the gospel worldwide.
  • Ruth Bell Graham – Accepted Christ at the age of 5 and grew up to become a dedicated Christian author and speaker.
  • Jonathan Edwards – A key figure in the Great Awakening, he reportedly committed his life to Christ at a very young age.
  • Luis Palau – Accepted Christ at age 5 and became one of the most influential evangelists of his time, preaching to millions globally.

While children may not yet grasp the full depth of theological doctrines, the Holy Spirit plays a vital role in convicting them of sin and drawing them toward Jesus. John 16:8 affirms that the Holy Spirit “will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” It is ultimately God who works in a child’s heart, leading them to faith in Christ. Parents and caregivers should trust that the Holy Spirit is actively working in their child’s life, guiding them toward salvation.

Signs a Child is Ready to Follow Christ

Not every child will express interest in salvation at the same time, but here are some indicators that they may be spiritually ready:

  1. Asking Questions About God and Salvation – When children show curiosity about sin, Jesus, or heaven, it may be a sign that God is working in their hearts.
  2. Expressing Guilt Over Sin – If they recognize their mistakes and ask for forgiveness, they may be understanding the need for a Savior.
  3. Desiring to Pray and Read the Bible – A growing interest in spiritual activities indicates a heart being drawn to God.
  4. Making Personal Statements of Faith – If a child says, “I want Jesus to live in my heart” or “I want to follow Jesus,” it reflects their sincere desire.

How to Guide a Child’s Decision for Christ

Parents, teachers, and caregivers play a vital role in nurturing a child’s faith. Here are some ways to guide them:

1. Explain the Gospel in Simple Terms

Use easy-to-understand language to share these core truths:

2. Share Bible Stories and Real-Life Examples

Stories like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) or Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) help illustrate repentance and salvation in a way children can understand.

3. Lead Them in a Simple Prayer of Salvation

Encourage them to express their belief in Jesus through a prayer like this: “Dear Jesus, I know that I have sinned and need Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose again. Please come into my heart and be my Savior. Help me to follow You. Amen.”

4. Continue Nurturing Their Faith

After a child makes a commitment to Christ, discipleship is essential:

  • Encourage Bible reading – Provide a child-friendly Bible. You can also use picture books and kid’s devotionals to teach younger children about Jesus. You can purchase a picture book or devotional from us. Get in touch if you need one.
  • Teach them to pray – Help them develop a habit of talking to God.
  • Model Christian living – Demonstrate faith through daily actions.

Conclusion

Children are fully capable of understanding and accepting Christ when guided with love and biblical truth. While every child’s spiritual journey is unique, parents and caregivers should provide encouragement, patience, and continuous discipleship. Trust in God’s work in their hearts, and celebrate the incredible moment when a child chooses to follow Jesus.

Discussing Boundaries With Kids

by Nkirote Mbae

 
standing-on-opposite-sides-of-line
‘Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.’ -Doreen Virtue

From touching what they shouldn’t, to going where they have been told not to, children have a way of testing their parents’ limits and pushing their buttons. It is important to let children explore and question things to help them acquire independence and form their individual identities. Boundaries however are essential in making sure that they do this respectfully.

Boundaries set out clear guidelines and defined limits. This helps parents and children to avoid arguments, it gives the child a sense of security when a parent is the guide and source of authority and helps the child respect others and have self-control. Boundaries instill discipline and show the child that despite their quest for independence and their desire for defiance, their parents are still in charge. It is therefore necessary that parents establish clear healthy boundaries for their children. Here are a few tips to get you started on setting those healthy boundaries.

01. Clear and effective communication

Let the child know clearly what you expect from them and encourage your child to voice out their opinions, questions, and needs in a respectful way.

02. Do it with love

Be firm but kind when communicating or correcting your child. Do not scold, belittle or yell at the child. Your aim is to mold the child not to demean them, embarrass them or make them question their self-worth.

03. Give room for dialogue

Set clear rules for what is non-negotiable but give room for discussion for boundaries that are flexible. For example, boundaries set for the child’s safety may not be negotiable but some like bedtime or screen time can be adjusted on request if the need arises.

04. Be brief and to the point

While explanations are necessary, children’s attention spans are very low. Be brief and to the point. A long lecture about what they did may not be effective. Associate actions with consequences to make discipline more effective.

05. Be consistent in enforcing the set boundaries.

This avoids confusion and helps the child respect the set boundaries.

06. Patience is key

It may take some time for your child to adjust to the set boundaries, be patient as they get accustomed to following the set rules. Healthy boundaries foster respect and are necessary for good behavior and character.

Childhood Trauma and It’s Impact Through Adulthood

By Alex Kibebe. Original content by Benta Wambui (Paidion Parental Seminar)


childhood-trauma-linked-to-increased-risk-of-ms-1440x810
Childhood trauma can be described as an experience that a child goes through that leaves him or her with some form of anxiety, fear, or other negative effects. If this trauma is not resolved, it leads to adverse effects that are experienced even in adulthood.

The Needs of a Child

A child is born with diverse needs. These needs include health, education emotional, identity, relational, social, self-care, supervision, and guidance. These needs should be sufficiently met for a child to grow and mature wholesomely. However, when they are not substantively met or are abused in one form or another, it results in trauma.

The Importance of Our Childhood

Our identity, morals, behavior, and perception of life are substantively established during childhood. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

According to the Bible, a large part of who we are is established when we are children. Interestingly, science also supports this truth.

How the Brain Works

Every new memory or experience that we encounter is stored through connections of neurons in our brains otherwise referred to as neural connections. These neural connections affect the way we behave or react to similar experiences or situations in future.

Development of the Brain During Childhood

The human brain develops the fastest within the first 1000 days of life and the rapid growth extends to year 5 or 6. Within this time, millions of neural connections are formed as the child gets to interact and experience his or her environments. These earlier years of life are therefore very critical in forming the foundational neural connections that will by extension affect the way we feel and act all the way into adulthood. Furthermore, the neural connections that are formed from traumatic experiences that result in fear or anxiety either due to abuse or acute neglect of childhood needs get deeply ingrained to our brain and may result in behavior that may be hard to alter even in adulthood.

Effects of Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma results in a myriad of behavior and responses that run through to adulthood. This includes; poor social skills, low self esteem, poor peer relationships, addictions, depression, aggression, insecure attachment styles, attention deficiencies, poor self regulation, eating and sleeping disorder For example children who are abused sexually may result into two extremes; they may end up being timid have a low esteem and impaired relationships with the opposite sex. Alternatively they may end up being bullies or sexually abuse others.

How do we Heal from Childhood Trauma?

In as much as we have already developed numerous neural connections, and how we feel and behave today has been shaped since childhood, there is still hope. Neural connections can change and adapt to new experiences. This change however happens when an emotion or behavior is sustained over a period of time. For you to change your neural connectors and by extension your behavior or feelings, you will need to be very intentional and patient – as it does take time. And the more ingrained neural connections are, the longer you may need to sustain the new action to change the connection.

For example, if you discover that you are detached from your children as an effect of your being neglected as a child, you can intentionally play with your children, tell your children you love them, spend time with them and find out how their day was. Initially, it may feel awkward and unnatural. However, if you persist with this, you will develop new neural connections that will by extension affect your future response and behavior. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Other steps that can be of great help while seeking to overcome childhood trauma include; Forgiving your aggressors and letting go of bitterness Breaking generational curses through prayer Memorizing God’s Word addressing your need – and pray Seeking therapy from a qualified counselor

Different STYLES of ATTACHMENT

Different STYLES of ATTACHMENT 

By James Kagombe


file


Early childhood is extremely critical and forms a foundation and basis for many aspects of our adult life. One of the areas that early childhood experiences shape is how we relate with ourselves and others, This is largely influenced by the child's consistent primary caregiver and forms a lasting impression and pattern even later in life. 

The primary caregiver is not limited to the biological parents or mother but rather the one who is there consistently meeting the needs of the child. 


Children form an internal reference point largely informed by the interactions with their primary caregiver. This strongly guides future interactions and connections with others and especially in close and meaningful relationships. 

While there may be other contributing factors, our childhood experiences are strong predictors of our future styles of attachment. 



Attachment styles 


Our Attachment style or ability to connect with people can either be secure or insecure. It may also vary from one relationship to another I,e close friend, spouse, children, family. 


1. Secure attachment.


The caregiver who is consistent, responsive, and assuring to the child's needs, helps the child develop many positive traits like trust, confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, value, and assurance, feelings of acceptance.


The child is therefore able to go out and explore more knowing that they have a secure place that they can return to and can handle the distance or space from the caregiver because they are confident that they will return.

The child is able to grow up to be a wholesome secure individual and can easily develop trust which is a key pillar in close and meaningful relationships. 


They are also able to handle space and distance from their relationships and are able to express their relational needs positively and are more likely to seek help when in need and develop connections easily with others. 


2. Insecure attachment 


This happens when a child's primary caregiver is inconsistent, unpredictable, disengaged, anxious, unresponsive, unavailable, indifferent, rejecting, aggressive, abusive, or disapproves of the vulnerability of the child and their needs.

Insecure attachment can also be experienced when the child's primary caregiver dies or there is long-term separation maybe by divorce or imprisonment or long illness or maybe distance because of work. The caregiver might also be struggling with trauma in their own life, addiction, or even depression or mental health issues.

The child is insecurely attached and feels insecure and can't trust or rely on the caregiver. This can lead to extreme anxiety. When the child is left alone, they could suppress these feelings and act as if they are fine outwardly but inside they are constantly anxious.



Signs of insecure attachment 


Children with insecure attachment are highly irritable, negatively seek attention, act out in mood swings, have anger, and tantrums, are inconsolable when they cry or are sad, and reject and act aloof when the caregiver returns after a period of separation.


Such children may not feel confident to explore life, try new things or even express themselves especially their weakness or places of struggle and might not easily ask for help. They may easily develop unhealthily independence.



Insecure attachment implications in adulthood


As adults this insecure attachment style could present itself especially in close relationships mostly by how they express their relational needs, How they react in moments of normal or longer separation or in moments of conflict and distress and how they react after the moments of separation, when they are connected back to those close to them.


In adulthood, their relational expectations, beliefs, emotions and responses are informed by their earlier attachment style especially in times of distress. They struggle feeling loved and do not easily trust others. They might also develop extreme anxiety especially when alone or when confronting others especially when their relational needs are not met or when anxious of losing their relationship. 


They might also be moody, hyper-sensitive and easily hurt, They might also be clingy and come off as needy and employ negative attention seeking behaviour and may always be fault finding and overly critical. 


Others may avoid closeness and intimacy and act distant and unavailable. They can be fiercely independent and find it difficult communicating their relational needs and therefore suppress and create a facade that everything is okay and later act out in bursts of anger and dissociation and separation,


They might also be impulsive, manipulate, throw blame to others for their actions ,justify their actions and react aggressively to being corrected or even turn abusive and violent.



However all is not lost, we can unlearn our childhood attachment styles and learn new and healthier ways of interacting and connecting with others and how to better parent and care for our children


We seek help and support from others and develop our awareness, identity and, personality, Through this, we can learn better interpersonal skills, be more assertive and establish better ways to communicate our needs. It will also help us be more resilient and adaptable and able to cope with distress and explore life and multiple positive interactions as well as create life experiences and friendships


The most powerful tool for both the parent and child is the Word of God and a personal relationship with Him. 

We can trust in God in all things and at all times, He provides that safe place of unconditional love and acceptance in Christ Jesus and we can launch out from this safe place having been enabled to do and be all that He created us to be.

We should allow God's word to change and influence how we see ourselves and others, our perspectives, our thoughts, our behaviors, and our reactions towards ourselves, others, and life situations. We can know that we are soo loved in Christ and begin to love ourselves wholesomely and become secure and begin to interact, connect and love others.


REFLECTION: 


1. How can the different parental styles influence and affect the attachment styles and what would this look like in the child's adult relationships later in life?


2. Some of the thoughts of a person who has insecure attachment are; I am not understood, I am not loved, I am always rejected, I am always taken advantage of, people always hurt me, people are always unavailable, I don't measure up, I will never succeed, my needs are not being met, my partner is undependable, I am unworthy of love, I feel alone in the relationship


How does the word of God address these thoughts?