All posts by Jebichii Kimulwo

Have you ever heard the saying, “More is caught than taught”? It couldn’t be more true when it comes to parenting. Our kids soak up our actions way more than our words—sometimes without us even realizing it.

Think about it… We can tell them all day long to be kind, honest, or prayerful, but if they don’t see those things in us, those words don’t stick. The truth is, our kids are little mirrors—reflecting back what they see at home.

Psychologists say that by the age of 7, a child’s core beliefs, habits, and behaviors are already taking shape. After that, friends, school, and the world around them start influencing them more. But in those early, precious years? We are their biggest teachers—even when we’re not trying to be.

The Real Generational “Curse” No One Talks About

We hear so much in church circles about generational curses—cycles of brokenness passed down through families. But sometimes, what we call a curse is really just copied behavior, hurt, or mindsets we inherited.

Sadly, even in strong Christian families, some kids struggle with faith because they notice a painful gap between what their parents say and how they actually live. Maybe you’ve seen it… kids who grow up in church but walk away, because they saw anger, pride, or hypocrisy behind closed doors.

Let’s be honest—our kids can spot the difference between real faith and empty words. And if they see us saying one thing and living another? It can make them wonder if Jesus really changes lives at all.

But here’s the good news: We don’t have to be perfect parents to raise faith-filled kids. We just have to be real.

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How to Model Christ-like Behavior (Even When You’re Struggling)

Here’s what it looks like to show your children the love and character of Jesus in your everyday, messy, beautiful life:

1. Let Your Kids See God Working in You

We’re all a work in progress—and that’s okay! The best thing your child can see is a parent who’s letting Jesus transform them day by day. Philippians 2:13 reminds us, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”

When you mess up (and you will), be honest. Age-appropriately, share your struggles. Say something like, “Mummy is working on being more patient. I prayed and asked Jesus to help me.” That teaches them humility, grace, and how to depend on God—not perfection.

2. Love Them Loudly and Consistently

One of the most powerful ways to reflect Christ to your kids is simple: love them deeply, unconditionally, and often. Hug them. Smile when they walk into the room. Tell them, “I love you,” every single day.

Did you know studies show that loving, emotionally connected homes help children grow in confidence, resilience, and faith? And 1 John 4:19 reminds us, “We love because He first loved us.”

Even when correcting behavior, remind them: “You’re deeply loved by me and by Jesus—even when you mess up.”

3. Explain the “Why” Behind Boundaries

It’s easy to fall into constant “don’t do that” lectures. But when we explain why certain behaviors hurt others—or hurt themselves—it makes a lasting impact.

Proverbs 22:6 encourages us, “Train up a child in the way they should go…” Training isn’t just scolding—it’s gentle, thoughtful teaching. Help them understand, not just obey.

4. Speak Life Over Them

Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Be the voice in your child’s life that builds them up—not tears them down.

Instead of saying, “You’re such a bad kid,” say, “That choice wasn’t okay, but I know you can do better—and I love you no matter what.” Praise good behavior, celebrate small wins, and constantly remind them how God sees them.

5. Ask the Holy Spirit for Help (Daily!)

Let’s be real—parenting can be overwhelming. But you’re not doing this alone. Jesus called the Holy Spirit our Helper for a reason (John 14:26).

I can’t count how many times I’ve whispered, “Holy Spirit, help me,” in the middle of a tough parenting moment—and He always shows up. Ask God daily to give you wisdom, patience, and creativity as you raise your kids. He cares about your family even more than you do.

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You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent—Just a Real One

At the end of the day, our kids don’t need flawless parents. They need parents who love Jesus, lean on His grace, and show them what real faith looks like—through both victories and struggles.

Remember, more is caught than taught. Let them catch you praying. Let them catch you loving. Let them catch you growing.

Because when your child sees Jesus alive in you, they’ll believe He can be real in their lives, too.

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 11:1

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Would you love a few simple tips or prayers to help you model faith to your kids? I’d be happy to share—just let me know in the comments or message us!

Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days feel like a battlefield—especially when your sweet, innocent toddler starts acting out in ways you never expected.

I remember a time when my son, who was just three years old, began pushing, hitting, and even slapping me right in church. As someone who works in children’s ministry, it was not only shocking but deeply embarrassing. I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what was happening, and afraid that I was failing as a parent.

When Nothing Seemed to Work

I tried the advice I had been given—canning, switching schools, changing routines—but nothing made a lasting difference. The behavior was getting worse, and I knew I had to act before it spiraled out of control.

In desperation, I turned to prayer and asked God to guide me. “Lord, show me how to raise this child You’ve entrusted to me.” Proverbs 22:6 came to mind:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

But I still didn’t know how to “train up” in a way that worked in the moment, especially in public, especially during tantrums.

Finding Help in an Unexpected Place

I started searching for parenting content online, scrolling through videos on TikTok, hoping something would speak to my situation. I saw countless experts, but nothing truly resonated with me. That is, until I found Lisa Bunnage, a parenting coach who hosts the BratBusters Parenting Podcast.

Lisa isn’t a psychologist. She’s a mom who’s walked through difficult seasons and found strategies that helped. She now shares them with parents like me. One of the things that stood out most was her approach called Leadership Parenting.

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What Is Leadership Parenting?

This method shifted my entire mindset. Leadership Parenting is all about being the calm, steady leader your child needs, even when everything feels chaotic.

1. Start With Your Own Heart

Lisa teaches that the emotional tone of the home starts with the parents. If we’re stressed, angry, or anxious, our children pick up on it. That was true for me. Before I could change my son’s behavior, I had to ask God to help me deal with my own emotions.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

If we’re not okay on the inside, it will show up in our parenting. I had to slow down, breathe, and surrender my frustrations to God daily.

2. Be Clear and Consistent

Lisa emphasizes the importance of clear rules and fair consequences, both rewards and discipline. The goal isn’t to control your child, but to guide them with firmness and respect.

Children need structure. They need to know what to expect. When consequences are consistent, children learn boundaries and feel more secure.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no.” (James 5:12)

That verse reminded me not to change my mind under pressure, even when tantrums came.

3. End the Power Struggles

One of the most powerful lessons I learned was this: don’t engage in power struggles. Lisa explains that kids often learn to use tantrums to get what they want. If crying, screaming, or kicking results in candy or more screen time, they’ll do it again.

Now, when a tantrum happens, I stay calm. I let my son express his emotions, but I no longer give in. As long as he’s safe, I give him space and stay firm. I used to fear the public outbursts, but now I see them for what they are: a child testing boundaries. And I know what to do.

4. Enjoy Your Child

This may seem obvious, but it hit me hard. Lisa often says we should enjoy our kids. Not just manage them. Not just correct them. Enjoy them. Laugh. Play. Listen.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When I made time to connect—really connect—my child opened up more. Our bond grew deeper. He wasn’t just reacting to me anymore; he was responding to love and security.

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Learning to Lead with Love

This journey hasn’t been perfect. There are still hard days, but now I approach parenting with more clarity and confidence. I’m no longer guessing or reacting out of fear. I’m leading calmly, consistently, and prayerfully.

If you’re walking through a season where parenting feels like too much, I want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Take a step back. Ask God to help you lead your home with love. And be open to learning—even from unexpected places.

Sometimes, the answers we need come from people who’ve simply walked the path before us and are willing to share.

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📌 Looking for more encouragement and practical parenting wisdom? Follow us for honest stories, biblical guidance, and grace for the journey.

Every child is a divine creation, not an accident. Before they were conceived in their mother’s womb, God had already conceived them in His own heart. Scripture reminds us in Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV), “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you.” This truth is foundational: every child carries a God-given purpose and unique potential.

Sadly, many children grow up never fully discovering the treasures God placed within them. Why? Because the enemy of their souls begins his attack early. John 10:10 tells us that, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” Satan targets the hearts of children, seeking to distort their identity, wound their emotions, and derail their destiny before it even unfolds.

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Experiences

Psychologists have long confirmed that the roots of many adult struggles can be traced back to childhood. Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned child psychiatrist, has said,

“The brain of a child is shaped by experience. What we do in early childhood matters.”

According to the American Psychological Association, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)—such as abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence—can have lifelong consequences on mental and physical health.

In his research, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, found that early emotional wounds are stored in the body and shape our responses, relationships, and self-worth as adults. In other words, many dysfunctions begin with unhealed heart wounds in childhood.

This is why Proverbs 4:23 urges us,

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

As a parent, it is your sacred calling to guard the heart of your child with prayer, wisdom, and intentional action.

Practical Ways to Guard Your Child’s Heart

1. Start by Healing Yourself

Tiffany Buckner of Anointed by Fire Ministries says, “The spirit within you raises your child alongside you.” This means the unresolved pain, trauma, or dysfunction in a parent can seep into the life of a child.

Parents must allow God to heal their own hearts first so they can nurture their children from a place of wholeness.

2. Be Watchful of Their Environment

Be intentional about what your child watches, listens to, and reads. The media they consume shapes their beliefs and self-image. Likewise, be discerning about the people around them. Many children have been harmed by those their parents trusted. By staying alert, you can prevent early exposure to psychological harm.

3. Choose Schools and Communities Wisely

Where your child grows up matters. The story of Lot in Genesis 13 shows that the environment impacts destiny. Lot chose to settle near Sodom, a place that eventually corrupted his family. Likewise, the schools, churches, and neighborhoods we place our children in influence their values, worldview, and emotional safety.

4. Be Close Enough to Notice

Guarding a child’s heart means being close enough to recognize changes in their behavior, emotions, or speech. Sudden mood swings, withdrawal, or anxiety can signal internal struggles. Addressing these signs early can prevent deep heart wounds from forming.

5. Feed Their Spirit with the Word of God

Choose a church community that spiritually nourishes your children. A strong Sunday school program can build their biblical foundation and help them know God for themselves.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us:

“These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

6. Teach Them Truth, Not Fear

Avoid manipulating your children with lies or fear-based threats. Speak the truth in love. Children flourish in homes where trust and honesty are the foundation.

Ephesians 4:15 says we are to speak the truth in love so that others may grow.

7. Equip, Don’t Overprotect

Guarding your child doesn’t mean shielding them from all pain. Disappointments and challenges are part of life. What matters is teaching them how to respond with faith, resilience, and wisdom.

Give them tools, like prayer, Scripture, and open communication, to navigate life’s trials.

8. Keep Learning

Parenting is not easy, and no one has all the answers. But there are countless resources, books, and teachings available to support you.

Investing in your own growth as a parent is one of the most powerful ways to serve your child.

Your Faithful Labor Is Not in Vain

Parenting in a broken world is tough. There will be days you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and inadequate. But know this: God sees every effort you make to guard your child’s heart. One day, you will hear the words every parent longs for: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)

Your child may not remember every meal you cooked or every toy you bought, but they will remember how you made them feel safe, heard, and loved. That’s how you guard a heart. That’s how you raise a child who knows their worth and walks boldly in the purpose God has for them.

Are You Always Quick to Use the Cane?

I used to be quick to reach for the cane or even pinch my child whenever he wouldn’t listen. It felt instinctive, almost automatic. That’s how I was raised. Canning was the default form of correction in my home and at school. We were punished for disobedience, for being suspected of wrongdoing, and sometimes even when we had done nothing wrong. No explanations, no conversations, just pain.

Looking back, I now question whether this truly aligns with God’s heart. Is this what God meant when He said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”? I don’t believe so. The God I know is not quick to punish. He is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.

God’s Model of Discipline: Grace Before Wrath

Throughout Scripture, we see a pattern in how God disciplines His children. Take the Israelites, for example. Before punishment ever came, God gave them His laws. He clearly laid out what was expected of them, and He explained both the blessings of obedience and the consequences of rebellion.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse—the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God… the curse if you disobey” (Deuteronomy 11:26–28).

Even when they turned away from Him, God didn’t rush to judgment. He sent judges, prophets, and messengers to call them back. He used vivid illustrations like Hosea, the prophet who married a prostitute, to demonstrate His relentless love and desire for reconciliation (Hosea 1–3).

Yes, God eventually allowed punishment, but only after many warnings. And even in discipline, He promised restoration:

“Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only in due measure” (Jeremiah 30:11).

What’s the Goal of Discipline?

The goal of parenting and discipline is not control. It’s relationship. It’s about building trust, love, and respect. We want our children to grow up knowing they are seen, heard, and deeply loved even when they make mistakes.

Being slow to anger, quick to listen, and always seeking restoration should be our parenting posture. Our homes should reflect the heart of the Father: full of truth, yes, but also full of grace.

Does this mean we shouldn’t discipline our children? Not at all. The Bible still says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24).

But there’s a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is rooted in love, correction, and guidance. Punishment, especially when impulsive or harsh, often stems from frustration or fear.

A More Thoughtful Approach to Discipline

Biblical discipline is never about punishment for punishment’s sake. It’s about guiding children in love, teaching them right from wrong, and shaping their character for life. Here are practical ways to discipline thoughtfully, rooted in God’s model and supported by modern child development wisdom:

• Clearly State Rules and Expectations
  Just as God gave His people laws and instructions (Deuteronomy 6:6–7), children need to know what’s expected of them. Explain the “why” behind each rule in a calm and age-appropriate way.
  
  “Children do well if they can. When they can’t, we need to figure out what’s getting in their way so we can help.” —Dr. Ross Greene, Clinical Psychologist
  
• Be Honest—Don’t Use Fear or Lies
  Avoid scaring or manipulating children into obedience. Trust is foundational to your relationship.
  
  “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him…” (Ephesians 4:15)
  
• Explain Rewards and Consequences in Advance
  Lay out both the benefits of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. Keep your word once the consequences are communicated.
  
  “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
  
  
• Correct with Patience and Consistency
  Don’t discipline in anger. Consistency helps children understand that boundaries are not emotional reactions but loving guidance.
  
  “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8)
  “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” (Proverbs 29:17)
  
  
• Use Physical Discipline as a Last Resort and With Restraint
  If a spanking is necessary, keep it light and brief—never out of rage. Pastor Mukholwe advises, “Just one or two strokes are enough.”
  
  “He who loves [his child] is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24, NIV)
  
  Renowned psychologist Dr. Daniel Siegel notes:
  
  “When we discipline in anger or humiliation, we actually undermine the part of the brain that helps children regulate behavior.”
  
• Discipline Privately, Not Publicly
  Public punishment shames the child and damages their sense of self. Take them aside, ideally to their room, where emotions can be processed with dignity.
  
• Restore the Relationship
  After disciplining, reassure them of your love. Hug them. Remind them that discipline does not change your love or their identity.
  Pray together, asking God for forgiveness and help in moving forward, as Jon Courson encourages.
  
  “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:12)
  “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

In Conclusion: Discipline with the Heart of the Father

We are not called to parent from a place of fear or tradition, but from a place of love and grace. God’s example shows us that discipline and relationship go hand in hand. He doesn’t rush to punish, but He also doesn’t ignore disobedience. He teaches, warns, corrects, and always restores.

Let’s raise children who don’t just fear the rod, but who trust in our love. Children who understand right from wrong not because they fear pain, but because they value relationships, respect, and truth.

Let our homes reflect the heart of God—firm in truth, overflowing with grace.

One of the most common questions Christian parents ask is, “Can children truly give their life to Christ?” Many wonder whether kids can fully grasp the gospel and make a genuine commitment to follow Jesus.

The Bible says that it is the responsibility of every parent to teach God’s word to their children with the hope that they will give their lives to Christ. But can children truly understand spiritual truths and commit their lives to Him? This article explores biblical teachings and real-life experiences to show that they can.

Biblical Examples of Childlike Faith

The Bible highlights the significance of childlike faith and God’s love for children:

• Matthew 18:3 – Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This verse underscores the purity and sincerity of a child’s faith.
• 1 Samuel 3 – The story of young Samuel hearing God’s voice shows that children can have a deep spiritual connection with God.
• 2 Timothy 3:15 – Paul reminds Timothy that he had known the Scriptures since infancy, reinforcing that children can learn and embrace biblical truths early in life.

Beyond biblical accounts, history also provides real-life examples of well-known evangelists who committed their lives to Christ as children:

• Corrie ten Boom – Gave her life to Jesus at age 5 and later helped save Jewish lives during World War II, sharing the gospel worldwide.
• Ruth Bell Graham – Accepted Christ at the age of 5 and grew up to become a dedicated Christian author and speaker.
• Jonathan Edwards – A key figure in the Great Awakening, he reportedly committed his life to Christ at a very young age.
• Luis Palau – Accepted Christ at age 5 and became one of the most influential evangelists of his time, preaching to millions globally.

While children may not yet grasp the full depth of theological doctrines, the Holy Spirit plays a vital role in convicting them of sin and drawing them toward Jesus. John 16:8 affirms that the Holy Spirit “will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” It is ultimately God who works in a child’s heart, leading them to faith in Christ. Parents and caregivers should trust that the Holy Spirit is actively working in their child’s life, guiding them toward salvation.

Signs a Child is Ready to Follow Christ

Not every child will express interest in salvation at the same time, but here are some indicators that they may be spiritually ready:

1. Asking Questions About God and Salvation – When children show curiosity about sin, Jesus, or heaven, it may be a sign that God is working in their hearts.
2. Expressing Guilt Over Sin – If they recognize their mistakes and ask for forgiveness, they may be understanding the need for a Savior.
3. Desiring to Pray and Read the Bible – A growing interest in spiritual activities indicates a heart being drawn to God.
4. Making Personal Statements of Faith – If a child says, “I want Jesus to live in my heart” or “I want to follow Jesus,” it reflects their sincere desire.

How to Guide a Child’s Decision for Christ

Parents, teachers, and caregivers play a vital role in nurturing a child’s faith. Here are some ways to guide them:

1. Explain the Gospel in Simple Terms

Use easy-to-understand language to share these core truths:

• God loves us (John 3:16).
• Sin separates us from God (Romans 3:23).
• Jesus died for our sins and rose again (Romans 5:8).
• We must accept Jesus by faith (Romans 10:9-10).

2. Share Bible Stories and Real-Life Examples

Stories like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) or Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) help illustrate repentance and salvation in a way children can understand.

3. Lead Them in a Simple Prayer of Salvation

Encourage them to express their belief in Jesus through a prayer like this: “Dear Jesus, I know that I have sinned and need Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose again. Please come into my heart and be my Savior. Help me to follow You. Amen.”

4. Continue Nurturing Their Faith

After a child makes a commitment to Christ, discipleship is essential:

• Encourage Bible reading – Provide a child-friendly Bible. You can also use picture books and kid’s devotionals to teach younger children about Jesus. You can purchase a picture book or devotional from us. Get in touch if you need one.
• Teach them to pray – Help them develop a habit of talking to God.
• Model Christian living – Demonstrate faith through daily actions.

Conclusion

Children are fully capable of understanding and accepting Christ when guided with love and biblical truth. While every child’s spiritual journey is unique, parents and caregivers should provide encouragement, patience, and continuous discipleship. Trust in God’s work in their hearts, and celebrate the incredible moment when a child chooses to follow Jesus.