The Four Parenting Styles
Parenting styles describe the way a parent deals with their child, especially in issues of counsel, discipline, and guidance.
There are four broad categories of parenting styles;
1. The Authoritarian Parent
This is an overly strict parent who is big on punishment and over-disciplining their children. They dictate the behaviour of the child by use of tough discipline. This parent often overlooks the feelings or explanations of the child and rarely explains their rules or reason for punishment.
Children raised by authoritarian parents obey and follow their parent’s rules primarily because of the fear of punishment.
Signs that you may be too strict on your child,
- - Your child lies a lot
- - You struggle with other children’s lack of discipline
- - You have a long list of rules
- - You do not allow the child to be themselves.
- - You are consistently arguing, threatening, or punishing your child
- Effects on Authoritarian Parenting
Children are at a high risk of having esteem issues. Because of this style of parenting, they may not learn to believe in themselves or express themselves. They can also be hostile and aggressive as a reaction to living under strict rules and excessive discipline. The children may also become good liars as an acquired mechanism of avoiding punishment.
2. Permissive Parenting
A permissive parent seeks to be liked by their children more and will therefore give children a free choice to do as they please. They do not want to have any conflict with their children. They set rules but will rarely enforce them and therefore, their rules are rarely followed. Permissive parents are always forgiving and give excuses for their children's bad behaviour. Permissive parents will also give in to their children’s demands.
Effects of Permissive Parenting
Research has shown that children brought up by permissive parents will tend to be impulsive and disregard rules.
They may also grow up to struggle with excesses, for example, drug addiction and living for the party. Other problems may include health issues such as obesity and tooth cavities.
If you discover that you have permissive tendencies, you first need to appreciate that the role of providing guidance belongs to you as a parent. You, therefore, need to have a participatory way of providing and enforcing rules and guidelines for their betterment. You also need to keep your word and ensure that discipline is enforced when your child disobeys.
3. Uninvolved Parent
An uninvolved parent is too “busy” for his or her children and will rarely spend meaningful time with them. They do not find out about the child’s day, help with homework, or care to find out how their children are doing. They may be too engrossed with their career or preoccupied with their issues to the extent that they neglect their child. Such parents will rarely hug their children, play with them or care about their performance in class, their friends, or their talent.
Due to a lack of nurturing, guidance, and parental attention, children raised by uninvolved parents tend to struggle with esteem issues, poor performance in school, and will generally be emotionally detached and unhappy.
Parents with demanding careers need to be very intentional and plan for time with their children.
On the other hand, parents who may be going through difficult times need to be cognizant and careful to ensure that they protect their children from their pain. They can do this by trying their best to nurture and pay attention to their children.
4. Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide guidance and mentor their children while considering their contributions and feelings. They take time to create a genuine relationship with their children by providing avenues for consistent interaction. They listen to their children and understand them.
In as much as they allow a child to express themselves, authoritative parents are also firm in providing guidance and counsel to their children. They encourage and reward their children for good attitude and behavior while disciplining them for wrongdoing.
Effects of Authoritative Parenting
Research has shown that children raised by authoritative parents are more confident, responsible, and aware of themselves. They express themselves with comfort while being more relational and empathetic. This may in turn lead to a more stable, successful, and fulfilling life.
Authoritative parenting should be the goal of every parent. Though we may fall short on various occasions or may have started in the wrong way, there is always room to correct and improve the style and quality of our parenting.